digging for mummies

and the new blog is....

2009-08-02T00:38:00.001-05:00

I need your help!

2009-07-22T15:40:00.001-05:00

I'm working on a new blog, but i'm having trouble coming up with a good name. Any ideas?

June 2009 Prayer Letter - Read this one.

2009-06-01T20:00:00.002-05:00

If you're going to read any prayer letter. Read this one. It will probably be my last for a while. To read, go here, and click on the PDF titled June 2009 Prayer Letter.

While We Were Trekking

2009-05-28T22:30:00.003-05:00

Last week I joined Calvin and the Servant Team (a group of five women serving with us for four months) on a trek through the Himalayas. It was incredible to get out of Kathmandu and into the amazing hills and mountains. Fresh air. Green hills. The highest mountains in the world. You can't beat it.

When we got back to Pokhara, a city smaller than Kathmandu, but big enough to have a tourist area, we received some sad and shocking news. Our church, Church of the Assumption, was bombed during the service. Two people died, one a 15 year old girl, and the other a newly married woman visiting from India. About 14 were injured, including our good friend Brother Rakesh. The past couple days we have visited Rakesh in the hospital, as he is being treated for burns on his head and face. Others have been more severely injured.

Please pray for our community, for those who have died and their families, for those who have been injured, and for the rest as they wonder where to go from here.

People believe the bomb was the work of the Nepal Defense Army, a group of Hindu Nationalists who are set on reinstating the Hindu monarchy. This Sunday there will be a peace rally throughout Kathmandu and Nepal, organized by Muslim, Christian, Buddhist and Hindu leaders who are standing up for peace among the diverse faiths in Nepal. Pray for this rally also.

Swine Flu?

2009-05-14T10:05:00.002-05:00

I got this from my friend, Mark Peterson's blog.

Also, Chris Heuertz writes a good reflection on the Swine Flu here.

A Letter To A Young Activist, by Trappist Monk, Thomas Merton

2009-04-26T20:59:00.002-05:00

Dear Jim,

Do not depend on the hope of results. When you are doing the sort of work you have taken on, essentially an apostolic work, you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. And there too a great deal has to be gone through as gradually you struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people. The range tends to narrow down, but it gets much more real. In the end, it is the reality of personal relationships that saves everything…

…The big results are not in your hands or mine, but they suddenly happen, and we can share in them; but there is no point in building our lives on this personal satisfaction, which may be denied us and which after all is not that important.

The next step in the process is for you to see that your own thinking about what you are doing is crucially important. You are probably striving to build yourself an identity in your work, out of your work and your witness. You are using it, so to speak, to protect yourself against nothingness, annihilation. That is not the right use of your work. All the good that you will do will come not from you but from the fact that you have allowed yourself, in the obedience of faith, to be used by God’s love. Think of this more and gradually you will be free from the need to prove yourself, and you can be more open to the power that will work through you without your knowing it.

The great thing after all is to live, not to pour out your life in the service of a myth: and we turn the best things into myths. If you can get free from the domination of causes and just serve Christ’s truth, you will be able to do more and will be less crushed by the inevitable disappointments. Because I see nothing whatever in sight but much disappointment, frustration and confusion….

The real hope, then is not in something we think we can do but in God who is making something good out of it in some way we cannot see. If we can do God’s will, we will be helping in this process. But we will not necessarily know all about it before hand…

Enough of this…it is at least a gesture….I will keep you in my prayers.

All the best, in Christ,

Tom

In case you were wondering....

2009-04-03T21:28:00.002-05:00

I found these in my friend's bathroom.

Weekend in Nagarkot, a few pics

2009-03-31T07:35:00.004-05:00

When I arrived home in Kathmandu, I joined Calvin and the Servant Team on a weekend trip outside the valley, to a place called Nagarkot. The Servant Team is a group here in Nepal for four months, learning the Nepali language, sharing life with Nepali families, and serving among the poor in Kathmandu. Calvin is doing an incredible job leading them closer to God's heart for the call, and God's work in their own lives. Here's a few pics from our time...

Calvin and I on the roof of a bus

The Servant Team (Beth, Kelsey, Hope, Kim, Blair)

From our candlelit dinner in Nagarkot

Devotions

The man himself. Servant Team Coordinator, Calvin Smothers.

2009-03-29T08:23:00.001-05:00

On March 30, 2009, Word Made Flesh drops the new logo, new website, new look for the Cry, business papers, business cards, etc. I hope you're excited. Because I am. I haven't seen the website, but I'm sure it'll be chic. Check it out...the new site.

April 2009 Prayer Letter

2009-03-22T08:53:00.001-05:00

Dear Friends,

I love to dance. You might not guess it, if you haven’t known me long, or have never seen it yourself. With my quiet, calm, reserved disposition, it might be hard to imagine. But maybe you caught me letting loose at my brothers’ wedding, or the WMF post-board meeting party, or in the small kitchen of my Nepali friends' home after feasting on pizza. I haven’t always been that way. No, in junior high and most of high school I was like most other awkward teenage white boys, doing my best to look cool, but moving very little at the school dances. I don’t know how it happened, but during my senior prom I just let it all go. I danced like a crazy person, and haven’t really stopped since. I assure you I was no less awkward than the early days, but it didn’t matter. On the dance floor, with the music and the crowd, I was free.

Letting loose. It’s an interesting phrase. It’s saved for specific times when we are free to put aside reservation and express ourselves, on the dance floor or elsewhere. The rest of the time, though, we’re not expected to let loose. We’re expected to keep things inside - our emotions or opinions or thoughts. Essentially, ourselves.

I have spent the past couple weeks receiving counseling, which has been an incredible experience. A lot has come to the surface. I am learning things about myself, the patterns I have developed for living, the ways that I keep myself safe and assure acceptance by others. I realized, also, why I love to dance. When I dance, it is as if all of the emotions that I have learned to avoid, repress or ignore are finally bursting out. I have a similar feeling after a good cry. It is a feeling of freedom. When most other days I hold myself inside, in a prison, these moments I let myself feel and I allow those feelings to come pouring out. It is the feeling of connection, of my body being connected to my soul. It is the feeling of truth, of my outer actions staying true to my inner being. It is the feeling of wholeness.

I have moments of these feelings. When I dance. When I cry. When I laugh so hard I cry some more. But most of the time I hold myself in. I’m really good at it. And I have started to recognize the ways I keep myself disconnected. My hope is to continue walking towards wholeness, allowing myself to feel, so that my body and soul become one, as God intended them to be. This doesn’t mean that I need a huge emotional reaction in every situation. But I do believe I am disconnected inside, and the more connected I become the more I will feel and the more I’ll let those feelings out.

Have you ever seen a clip in a movie taking place in another culture or another country, where women gather together to mourn the death of someone in the community? I think you could find this in much of the world besides the West. I remember seeing this in movies and wondering at the eery wailing of the community. The grief so great that sobbing and groaning come uninhibitedly. It’s a different scene in our own movies, where people quietly stand by the casket as it is lowered into the earth. Some might suggest that this is because we have hope of life after death, and that others without that hope mourn with despair. While I trust that mourning with hope is different from mourning in despair, I wonder if we have learned to hold back our emotions. If we have embraced the dualism of body and soul so that we don’t know how to live as one connected person. Jesus wept when his friend, Lazarus died. I have heard some say this is because his friends had no faith, not actually sad about his death. But either way you look at it, Jesus felt sad inside. And he wept outside. Wholeness.

I know that personality plays in here. And surely, with a little more freedom I don’t expect to become chatty-kathy, or the life of the party. I am also learning to trust that God made me who I am. And he made me good. But I believe that I am disconnected. And I long for connectedness. I feel in many ways imprisoned. And I long for freedom. Pray for me and walk with me as I continue to journey towards wholeness and freedom.

Peace to you sisters and brothers.

Love,

Andrew

Solitude

2009-03-14T19:56:00.002-05:00

I am going to a Jesuit retreat center for three days of solitude and reflection. Pray for me.

March 2009 Prayer Letter

2009-03-13T23:08:00.002-05:00

If you've been staying updated, most of this will not be new, but I've posted the prayer letter anyway. I'm writing April's letter today and will post that soon.

Rejoice with those who rejoice. Mourn with those who mourn.

Dear Friends,

It’s hard for me to put in one letter all that has gone on in my life and heart this past month. I arrived back in Nepal after a short hiatus in the states. I returned hoping to have a better perspective on life here. Last fall was a difficult time during which our community went through significant conflicts, and continued to feel little direction for the future. The culture had begun to wear on me and I found myself frustrated nearly every time I went outside.

When I returned to Nepal, though, everything seemed the same. I have continued to clash with the culture here, and the constant attention on this white face has caused me to react with bitterness in my heart. I have continued to have feelings of uselessness and guilt for what I considered failures to make things happen, whether in our community or in my own life.

A couple weeks ago, I came to a breaking point. I’m told that it’s quite common. That the year mark brings with it a sense of loss that causes overseas workers to break down, and without the right support, they often leave. So, I have decided to get the support I need. I will be traveling to Thailand to spend 3 weeks at a Counseling Center where they specialize in those serving in cross-cultural contexts. Following that I will continue with phone counseling on a regular basis. While it is difficult to be here, and it is not a fun thing to break down and hit bottom, I am really looking forward to the process of counseling and the journey to health and wholeness in my own soul. I trust that I will be able to serve much better from a healing heart.

I’m not sure you can find a bigger contrast between hitting bottom and seeking counseling, and the other piece of recent news in my life....I’m engaged!!! After spending nearly a month in the states with my girlfriend, Susan Smartt, we were anticipating an incredibly difficult time when returning to our long-distance mode of relationship. We thought having been together would make it much harder to be apart. And while it remains difficult to be so far away, we also feel confident and grounded in the truth that we want to be together, that we want to get married. So, on February 14, 2009, Susan and I made it official. We’re now preparing to spend the rest of our lives together. We are ridiculously excited about getting married and building a life together. We can’t wait! It’s a pretty great story, so if you haven’t heard it yet, check out the posts in the February archive.

As you can imagine I’ve been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. And Susan and I have a lot to figure out. I will be going to counseling while she is practicing midwifery in Malawi. She will be visiting me in Nepal in April and at that time will look for midwifery opportunities in Nepal. And then...we’ll get married!! At this point we’re not sure about the date and the logistics will take some figuring out. But we’re confident the plans will fall into place.

Please pray for me as I seeking healing in my own life. Pray that my time in Thailand would be fruitful and that my return to Nepal would be healthy and hopeful. Pray for Susan as I as we make plans to get married, for our time apart and for our transition into life together. And that in Nepal, which will be it’s own challenge.

Thanks for your love. Susan and I would love for you to join us in our joy and eager anticipation for things to come.

peace and love,

Andrew

The Beach

2009-03-10T22:04:00.003-05:00

Wait, the beach? I thought he was going to get counseling? What is this?

Well, my counselor had a two-day retreat which gave me a four day weekend. So, instead of staying in my room all weekend, I made my way down to Hua Hin, Thailand. I spent a night on the train to Bangkok, then took another train to Hua Hin where I stayed two nights. Most of that time I spent on the beach, reading The Poisonwood Bible, and meditating on my latest therapy sessions.

I walked the streets, enjoyed a mix of Thai food and American delicacies like Burger King and Pizza Hut, and did my best to avoid the old fat white men parading the streets with young pretty Thai women at their side. It was a lonely city, and while I loved sitting on the beach and going for a swim in the ocean, I really was ready to leave after those two nights.

I'm back in the thick of counseling. It's going beautifully, digging up all sorts of unknown truths and realities of my life that I had ignored, avoided or repressed. I'm on a path where the truth is opening up and I'm learning to embrace it. And with the truth, comes freedom, and wholeness. I'm not there yet, but I'm walking forward. I'm glad I'm here. I think everyone could use some counseling, really. It's an incredible gift and opportunity.

how bout some more pics

2009-03-10T21:52:00.003-05:00

this is the train i took from bangkok to hua hin, thailand.
me on the train. so thoughtful.

me on the beach in hua hin
the beach.

the gulf of thailand.

again, so thoughtful. this is what i do when i travel alone and take pictures of myself.

A few pics...

2009-03-10T21:37:00.003-05:00

...from Calvin's fisheye camera. These are from a while back, but still great.

the four of us took a similar photo when we met (liz and jesse already knew each other) at a board meeting spring 2007. now we're all bffs. or you know, for a couple of us, dating.

the north american staff with our friend, gloria, and oh yeah, nahshon (see if you can find him)

and here we all are again...

Much Afraid, by Jars of Clay

2009-03-05T07:01:00.003-06:00

Empty again
Sunken down so far
So scared to fall
I might not get up again

So I lay at your feet
All my brokenness
I carry all of my burdens to you

All of these things
I've held up in vain
No reason nor rhyme
Just the scars that remain
Of all of these things
I'm so much afraid
Scared out of my mind
By the demons I've made
Sweet Jesus, you never ever let me go
Oh, sweet Jesus, never ever let me go

So happy to love
Yet so far to go
You lead me on to where I've never been before

All of these things
I've held up in vain
No reason nor rhyme
Just the scars that remain
Of all of these things
I'm so much afraid
Scared out of my mind
By the demons I've made
Sweet Jesus, you never ever let me go
Oh, sweet Jesus, never ever let me go

(from the album Much Afraid)

Oh Brother! Where Art Thou?

2009-03-01T06:01:00.003-06:00

One of the reasons I love going to the Catholic Church in Kathmandu is because it is also attended by my good friend, Brother Rakesh. Brother Rakesh started his own order, Poor Servants of Jesus the Master. Their vocation is to do small acts of service with great love.

Brother Rakesh is incredibly hospitable. He often invites Calvin and I over to his home for tea and snacks, where we share about our lives. Brother Rakesh is also hilarious. I sometimes sit with him outside of the Church, where he jokes with everyone passing by. It’s a site to see, really.

During my first year in Kathmandu, I have connected with Brother Rakesh more than I have with most of the Protestant Evangelical Christians I have met. That’s not to say anything about the Protestants. I just find it interesting that the people I relate with and find myself sharing openly and honestly with are Catholics like Rakesh (and, of course, Calvin).

Brother Rakesh has become a great friend, and has been a huge encouragement to me during this first difficult year in Nepal. Thanks Brother.

 Please pray for him, as he is currently in 30 days of solitude, following the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.

Thank You, Calvin!

2009-02-24T06:41:00.002-06:00

I received another icon for my birthday. It was originally from 5th century Coptic Christianity. The Brothers of Taize use this as one of their icons. The Brothers of Taize are a community of Catholic and Protestant brothers who are devoted to reconciliation between the two divided parts of Christianity. They do this through living and working together. It’s a beautiful picture of the body of the Christ working in unity, and I love this icon which represents that. Thanks Calvin!!

Journey Into Wholeness

2009-02-23T20:15:00.002-06:00

This first year in Nepal has been much harder than I had anticipated. A combination of constant culture stress, regular health problems, significant community conflicts, and a year of feeling directionless has brought me to a low point in Nepal, and in my life in general. I struggle with not feeling satisfied with my level of service, my connection with the poor, and my reaction to frustrating situations. All of these things together have lead me to feelings of guilt and self-criticism.

A couple weeks ago I hit a breaking point and wept for some time. I realized then that I have a guilt complex. I recognized that I am really hard on myself and at times have feelings of worthlessness. At that time, I knew I needed some help. So, I have sought out an opportunity for counseling and will soon be headed to Thailand. I will be there for three weeks, receiving counseling from those who specialize in foreign workers in Asia.

Throughout this process I have learned that a year is a common breaking point for people serving overseas. It is helpful to know that I am not alone in this. Still, I recognize that my struggles go deeper than the culture stress, while that has contributed to discovering those struggles.

It is a strange juxtaposition, this hitting bottom and pursuing counseling, and days later getting engaged. I live amidst depression and pain, and at the same time find great hope and joy for the life I have ahead of me, in Nepal and with Susan.

I am really looking forward to this time in Thailand, where I will have the space to dig into myself and discover the brokenness that goes deeper than I realized. Through that, I pray I might walk towards healing and find a healthy life and rhythm on my return.

I didn’t realize it when I had purchased my plane ticket, but I will be leaving this Wednesday, the first day of Lent. It seems fitting that I enter a time of space to walk with God into my own soul at the time Christians set aside each year to look inward. To walk towards the cross and on to resurrection, healing, new life. I will be working through the Lenten guide mentioned in my previous post.

Pray that I might walk through my brokenness towards wholeness.

Suggestions for Lent

2009-02-23T04:05:00.002-06:00

My friend, Rachael asked if I had any suggestions for Lent this year. I’ve seen a couple of things around the web that look interesting and can help give some direction to this Lenten season, if you’re looking for some help.

The first is a guide compiled by Christine Sine from Mustard Seed Associates. It’s called A Journey Into Wholeness. It looks quite long but it also looks sweet and I plan to walk through it this year. See below a description of what the guide will focus on each week of Lent.

I’ve also seen a campaign, The H2O Challenge, done through Living Water. They suggest you spend two weeks during Lent not drinking anything but water, and saving the money you would have spent on other drinks. You can send that money in which will help pay for wells that will supply clean water to people who desperately need it.

Lent begins this (Ash) Wednesday. Check these out, and let me know if there is anything else you’ve seen that might help walk through this tradition with other Christians around the world.

From A Journey Into Wholeness:

Over the six weeks of Lent, as we journey with Christ toward the cross, we want to examine
these areas of brokenness and explore how we can move closer to God and more effectively be
God’s hands of healing and wholeness. Our journey will begin with an exploration of the bar-
riers within ourselves that resist God’s will. Selfishness, fear, feelings of abandonment and our
inability to trust that God really loves us all separate us from God and the life that God wants
for us.

In the second and third weeks, we will confront some of the barriers that separate us from
other human beings. Lack of forgiveness, the desire to control, greed, and indifference to the
suffering of others all distort our relationships to those with whom we share this planet. In the
fourth week, we will explore barriers that separate us from God’s creation. Lack of proper ste-
wardship, over-consumption and a lack of respect for what God has made all destroy our rela-
tionship to God’s creation. In the fifth week of Lent, we will confront some of the barriers that
isolate us from other parts of God’s family because of lack of unity between believers with dif-
ferent theological perspectives. Independence, the desire to “do it my way,” and the lack of uni-
ty with fellow believers are all barriers to a mature relationship with God. Holy week, the last
week of Lent, will focus on Jesus’ own walk toward the cross and the brokenness he willing en-
dured to set us free.

Thank You Sister Janet

2009-02-11T18:54:00.002-06:00

A few months ago Calvin and I had the privilege of having dinner with an American Nun, Sister Janet. Our friend, Brother Rakesh, took us to meet Janet, who made us a great American meal - soup, salad, and various breads.

Sister Janet is part of the Maryknoll sisters, an American based Catholic organization of men and women focused on serving the poor and marginalized overseas. While at Janet's house I noticed an icon hanging on the wall. It is titled Christ of Maryknoll. In it, Jesus is standing behind a barbed-wire fence with pierced hands holding the fence. I fell in love with the picture immediately.

What I love is that you cannot tell which side of the fence Jesus is on. He is on the inside, joining with the oppressed and the wrongly imprisoned. He is with them in their imprisonment and has entered their pain and suffering. And Jesus is on the outside, but he has not abandoned the imprisoned. He is on their side, beckoning them towards freedom. It's a beautiful picture.

Yesterday, while visiting Brother Rakesh, he gave me a (one-week premature) birthday gift. From Sister Janet, it is the Christ of Maryknoll icon I was raving about at her home. Unfortunately, I am told the Maryknoll sisters will be leaving Nepal indefinitely. Thank you, Sister Janet, for the icon, and especially for your love and service among the poor and oppressed in Nepal. You will be missed.

Toothpicks

2009-02-10T04:28:00.001-06:00

In Nepal we have 1000 rupee notes. It’s worth about $13.50 and it’s often the only bill given by ATMs. It’s always a struggle to get change. Whenever displaying the 1000 rupee note to a shopkeeper or taxi driver, the response is usually the same: “You don’t have change?”

Below the 1000 rupee note, we have 500s, 100s, 50s, a few 25s, 20s, 10s, 5s, and, oh yes, 2s. The 2 rupee note, of course, is worth around 2 1/2 cents. Usually when I receive a 2 rupee note, it is torn, worn, and if it weren’t for it’s small size, would be undecipherable. I have often wondered how these bills get the way they do. And I consider it my duty to rid the world of the bills. I believe I am doing the world a service in this. No one likes getting them.

The other day, as I was walking down the road, I discovered one of what may be many reasons those 2 rupee notes become undesirable so quickly. I saw a man sitting by the side of the road, performing his morning ritual of cleaning his teeth, toothpick style, with, yes, a rolled up 2 rupee note.

Celtic Prayer

2009-02-04T08:34:00.001-06:00

Holy Trinity,
Well of love,
Refresh us with your presence.
May we drink of your life-giving water,
Filling us with you,
Overflowing to all those around us.

Amen.

I read this on the Prayers & Creeds blog.

A New Home, Again

2009-01-30T02:17:00.001-06:00

Calvin and I moved again. This new place really feels like home. The first home we had was huge, and we knew it was only transitional. The next place Calvin and I moved to was so small it felt like camping. We didn’t have space to cook, or really move around. Because it was so far from a lot of our friends and Karuna Ghar, we would end up sleeping in the office because public transportation stops around 7:30pm. So, it never felt like we could make a home there.

This place is great. It’s not huge. One good sized room, which has enough space for our beds, our desks, a little kitchen area, and even some floor space to sit on. We moved in on Tuesday, when we invited Top’s family, along with Brook and Kara to join us for dinner. Hosting friends was never something we could do in our last home. It was great to once again open our home up for food and love.

A couple things we’ll be learning to live with in this new home is a lack of running water, and a bathroom we’ll be sharing with most other people in the building. We also don’t have a sink, so we’ll be washing dishes in buckets. We’ve also got neighbors here like we’ve never had before.

They’re fascinated with us. And they love us. Our first day they were coming in and looking at our stuff, in awe of my ridiculous amount of books, and giving advice and help as we arranged our things and cleaned. They offered water, tea, and a helping hand. Calvin stopped at one neighboring shop and asked for a jug of drinking water, promising to be back to pick it up in fifteen minutes. A few minutes later the shopkeeper was at our door with the water. He watched us attempting to put a bookshelf on the wall, left, and came back five minutes later with some blocks of wood to support the shelf. He then said, if we have any trouble with anything, come to him.

We have this great neighbor who is just up in our business. She’ll come in and stare at us as we clean or work. She drinks our water, eats our candy, opens our fridge and draws to see what else we’re hiding in our apartment. She just came in with a friend a few minutes ago and I showed them photos of home on my computer.

Down the street a bit is a little bakery and tea shop. The shopkeepers there are so friendly. Once they asked how much we paid for some things we were holding. We told them, and they were ticked that some Nepali shopkeeper took advantage of us. They are really protective of us, and defend us when people ask if we can really speak Nepali. They can speak all Nepali, the shopkeeper urges. I love that a few sentences of conversation can have her convinced.

We’re excited about this new place and our new neighbors. We’re hopeful about settling in for awhile and making this place home.

Rev Joseph Lowery's Benediction/Obama's Inauguration

2009-01-20T23:14:00.001-06:00

In my opinion, this was the best part of the inauguration.

Back Home in Kdu

2009-01-19T02:38:00.002-06:00

I am back in Nepal after a few weeks of vacation in the states. It was a bit of a whirlwind tour that brought me to Minnesota, Illinois, Indiana, Tennessee and Georgia. I spoke at my home church and at the church I attended while at college in Indiana. I rushed around to see friends and family, but also tried as much as I could to relax at home.

I returned to Nepal almost a week ago, where we have power for eight hours a day, four of which is usually while we are sleeping. During the other four hours, it is questionable whether we will have internet or not at our office. So, I've had sporadic internet access at cafes around Kathmandu.

It's good to be back here, knowing more of the language, having relationships and in general not starting from scratch. Things are not too different, though. The same frustrations, the same joys, the same hopes. It's good to get back to the people here, my Nepali friends, my foreigner friends, and my roommate, Calvin. Below is a picture of Calvin and me.

I dun preached a sermon

2009-01-07T23:10:00.002-06:00

I spoke at my home church a couple weeks ago in Minnetonka. You can download it here, or go to iTunes, search The Way of Jesus podcast, and download mine there. It's titled A Jesus Community, Andrew Ulasich.... Check it out.

January 2008 Prayer Letter

2009-01-01T10:24:00.000-06:00

I have recently been having a more difficult time writing about my friends and my work. It’s not that nothing has been happening, or that I don’t have thoughts to share. But I am trying to find the balance of advocating for my friends, while not being exploitative. You see, I assume people like hearing about the people I meet and the experiences I have. That’s why they read my letters. The stories may be exciting. The experiences cool, new, or inspiring. But for my friends, it is just life. And there is no escaping it. I have been getting to know a couple Nigerian guys in jail here. After our conversations, I get to leave the jail. Clearly, that’s not an option for them. I’ve also been spending time with a family who lives in a slum. I was invited to stay the night there, which I have done a couple times now. For me, it was a new thing. Sounds kind of hard core, right? But while I leave their home of tarps and bamboo in the morning, they know they have to return to the slum each night. For them, life in the slum was never about being hard core. There was never anything novel about it. So while I write about my experiences with them, my hope is to respect them, their lives and the reality of the divide of opportunity and wealth that separates us.

It’s interesting, too, how different my expectations were from what I have actually experienced. Calvin and I went to the prison because Jesus says that when we visit prisoners, we visit him. We went to build a relationship, yes, but also probably expecting to be of some encouragement, to offer some hope for these men. There we sat, sitting on one side of the fence, while they sat on the other side, their freedom stripped from them. Our conversation turned to creation, relationship in the garden, the first sin, and the shame that followed. But it wasn’t Calvin and I doing the preaching. It was the men behind the bars. They argued with each other over the meaning of certain parts, occasionally asking Calvin and I for some confirmation of what they were saying. “For sure,” we’d chime in. At one point it got heated, so one of them cut in, “Let’s change the subject. When are you bringing me Christian music?” I busted up laughing.

It’s hard in there. They don’t deny it. While they have most everything they need, the absence of freedom changes everything for them. They actually have access to a lot of what we have. And thankfully, a few friends who can bring them certain luxuries - like Christian music. But the lack of freedom can take the life out of you. But in just a few short meetings, they have expressed to us their hope. Their hope for life outside the jail. And most of all their hope in Jesus, whose grace covers all of our sins, even the sins of those we lock up and keep away from society. It is with them Jesus wants to be in relationship. It is in them we meet Jesus.

It is good to be in relationship here. To be getting to know men in prison, friends who live in poverty in the slum. And not just for the novelty of it. We are in relationship to offer hope and love, but we also go to those the world rejects, believing that God will meet us and teach us through them. Pray for my friends. That they might know the hope of the coming Messiah, and the love of God in their lives. And pray for me, that I would continue to learn and grow as I am in relationship with those who God sees, despite the ways our societies have pushed to the side and hidden. Thank you, friends, for your love and support. Happy New Year! Take it slow.

peace,

Andrew

Recovering Evangelical

2008-12-30T11:38:00.003-06:00

My friend, Chris LaTondresse, just started a social networking site for recovering evangelicals. For those of us who have been disillusioned by our faith tradition, but are holding onto Jesus and looking for the way forward. Check it out:

www.recoveringevangelical.com

This Advent, I have been...

2008-12-15T11:06:00.003-06:00

1. attending the English mass on Sunday evenings and I love it.

2. visiting a jail and spending time with some Nigerian dudes.

3. listening to Sufjan Stevens, Jars of Clay and Over the Rhine Christmas music.

4. anticipating being back in the states for a few weeks. I leave in 2 days! yikes!

5. visiting friends who live by the smelliest river in Kathmandu. Okay, all the rivers in this city smell.

6. feeling healthy. Praise Jesus.

7. reflecting on Emmanuel, God with us.

8. eating so much daal bhat.

9. taking language tests at the university.

10. feeling stressed at the thought of buying everyone presents.

11. hanging out with my Catholic brothers and sisters.... I have been to two different convents, visited the jail with Catholic brothers, and watched students at St. Xavier's, the Catholic school, perform The Sound of Music.

I walked into a mob again tonight.

2008-12-10T09:11:00.003-06:00

Calvin and I were biking home tonight when we heard a loud siren coming from one of the buildings. In Nepal, there are sirens to announce the detection of a thief. That way everyone is not only on their guard, but outside ready to join in the punishment if the thief is caught. I remember this from last fall. The alarm woke me up at midnight, so I went outside to see all the Nepali men in their A-Shirts (previously 'wife-beaters.') with big sticks. Lucky for the thief, they didn't find him.

Tonight the thief was not so lucky. We biked up to a big group of men, with the group getting bigger as we stopped to see what was going on. One man, the thief who had apparently tried to steal a motorcycle was being held down, with the occasional angry man coming to give him a few punches or kicks. Without saying anything I handed Calvin my bike and walked in (I know Calvin would have been right with me if we were on foot). A Nepali man asked me not to go in, not to get involved, or risk getting hit myself. To put you at ease, sure I might get a lose punch or elbow, but if anyone started coming at me, I'm pretty confident the crowd would put a stop to it. There's no reason to be beating up the white guy. Unfortunately, the crowd didn't do a thing for this thief. They just stood there and watched, while I attempted to keep people from beating up this guy, whose face was already bloodied. I yelled to the crowd to stop. I asked onlookers why they were only watching. And I managed to help out very little, besides maybe pulling back a couple angry youths.

I turned away frustrated. I noticed several people laughing. Amused at this foreigner, who clearly doesn't know what he is doing, trying to help this thief. People told me not to get involved. Several people said, "He is a thief. And this is the system in Nepal." I looked around at the crowd of onlookers, who then numbered a couple hundred people, shocked at the apathy.

To their credit, there is very little theft in Nepal. I'm hardly ever concerned about something getting stolen. Apparently they are successful at dissuading theft. Still, the spectacle of one man getting the shit beat out of him while a couple hundred people look on, doing nothing, just seems wrong.

I walked back to Calvin. I guess some of the onlookers heard my pleas to at least call the police, and they gave me the phone number (unfortunately, it's not a simple 911). But we called the police, who showed up a few minutes later, and listened to a couple more lectures of why we should not get involved.

I left confused. Should I have gotten involved? Is this actually a good system? It gets the job done, right? But can I really stand by while this is happening? While everyone else is looking on, accepting 'the system' of how things are done? Of course, even my attempts to put a stop to it were unsuccessful (save maybe the police arrival). All it got me was some blood on my new pants, which I've been trying to keep clean until I get to that shiny country we call America.

The Turkey

2008-12-02T02:19:00.002-06:00

There are four Americans currently employed with WMF Nepal. There are the old pros, Brook and Kara. And there are the rookies, my roomie Calvin, and yours truly. While it was the first time Calvin and I have celebrated Thanksgiving in Nepal, Kara and Brook are no more experienced in the preparation. Apparently Silas and Kim West held the bulk of responsibility for the previous Turkey Days and provided an amazing meal. The lack of experience left all of us a little overwhelmed by the prospect of cooking a Thanksgiving meal for the four of us, as well as three of our American ex-pat friend, as well as one Ugandan who we invited (allowed?) to join us for our feast.

There was a meal before us. Mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, corn bread, rolls, mulled wine, baby carrots, stuffing, apple pie, pumpkin pie, and of course, the Turkey. Also before us, were a few problems. We knew we might have trouble getting our hands on a few things like the onions for the top of the casserole, the corn bread mix and a few other items, including the Turkey. Another potential disaster point is a little something called load-shedding. These days, for about 7-10 hours a day, we have no power. And almost everything we planned to cook in an electric oven.

Well, thanks to Kara's mom, we were fully prepared with certain American specialty products, like Stove Top Stuffing and French's French Fried Onions. Kara also did a little research and found a really expensive Turkey. Not wanting to forgo this American tradition, we dished out the money and paid 50 bucks for a four kilo Turkey. And thankfully, the power was consistent, besides a few minutes of absence around 10am, enough to scare some of us about the potential of a lot of uncooked food.

At 2pm the meal time came. The guests arrived, we set the table, passed out some wine and congratulated ourselves on a job well done. None of us had tasted the food yet, but we were shocked that it all managed to come together into a beautiful Thanksgiving feast. We ate a delicious meal, played some games, and when one person suggested we share something we're thankful for, we declined and the subject was quickly changed.

All in all, a pretty great Thanksgiving meal, giving us cooks a reason to be proud. And we are.

A Frown? Or a Smile?

2008-12-02T02:11:00.002-06:00

I was reading the news today, when I came across this article, explaining the alignment of Jupiter, Venus and the moon that could be seen last night. The article described it as a frown, with the two planets as eyes and the moon as a thin crescent frown. Well, last night I was looking up at the sky and saw a different sight. Yes, there were two eyes made by Jupiter and Venus, but our face, here in the East, was a smile. I think it's a sign. Take that West.

One Last Time

2008-11-06T22:35:00.002-06:00

In congratulations to President Elect, Barack Obama, I've posted his really hot campaign music video one last time. Enjoy...

Yes We Can - Barack Obama Music Video

2008-11-06T22:34:00.001-06:00

The Facebook Status

2008-11-06T21:25:00.005-06:00

I know most of us are just glad the election is over, so instead of losing myself in a political tirade, or an appeal to our President-elect to care for the poor and suffering (believe me, that'll come; or if you want a brilliant blog post, read Brian Walsh's: Barack Obama: A Post Imperial Presidency?), we'll keep it light and talk about: The Facebook Status. If you are somehow reading this blog, but not involved in the Facebook world, let me explain. The Facebook Status is a little sentence for you to tell the world what you're thinking, what you're doing, or just some message you want to share. For example, they could be:

Andrew is going home to watch a movie.
Andrew is eating a Baby Ruth.
Andrew is wondering how Baba is doing.

After the election, though, people went NUTS with their Facebook Statuses. It became a platform for sharing new found hope in our country and world, overwhelming fear or dread of what is to come, or indifference, depending on where you landed on the political spectrum. I found the statuses, as well as the comments on all of the statuses fascinating, and at times hilarious or disturbing. I thought I'd share some of them with you. To be fair, I'll share my own first:

Andrew can't find any info on the percentage of votes Nader is receiving. He doesn't get it.
and
Andrew is Ralph Nader: 1%. Are you sure? Can I get a recount?

For all but one of the following, I've left out the names. Here you go...

... wonders exactly WHAT changes are going to take place.
... 's choice for President didn't win last night, but he is still proud and will always be proud to be an American.
... is gravely concerned about where our country is headed...
... may not like the election results, but will continue to support his country and pray for his new leader.
... is breathing a huge sigh of relief and celebrating a momentous day in our country's history.
... thinks that what the world needs.... is BATMAN.
... Thank God. President Obama. Life will get better for everyone.
... is welcome to the Socialist States of America!
... is moving to Mexico with her sister!!! GOD IS IN CONTROL!!
... is seriously proud to be American tonight-what a great accomplishment for humanity & the beginning of a new social consiousness re: race-one LONG overdue.
... is excited that Sarah Palin has no more chance of being president in the next four years than me!
... is wondering if they found that Arab's citizenship card yet.
... thinks John McCain's concession speech was quite admirable.
... is thrilled about PRESIDENT OBAMA!

and my personal favorite:

Kimberly Garrison West is listening to Jedi and Adia discuss why they could never be president. They decided that they can't because they were born in Nepal and might be Maoists.

November 2008 Prayer Letter

2008-11-03T09:25:00.002-06:00

I'm in a strange place. Yes, Kathmandu is a more chaotic city (save maybe Kolkata) than I have ever been in. And the culture continues to catch me off guard. Nepal, for me, is strange. But when I say that I am in a strange place, I'm referring to the place I find myself in spiritually, emotionally, and especially vocationally.

Though I'm usually the skeptical one when people so easily say they were 'called' to this work or that place, it is safe to say I felt led to Nepal. I felt a pull from outside of me, as well as within my heart and soul to be among the poor in Kathmandu. To serve them and learn form them. To be in a community of love and hope with the suffering people in this city. And after 8 months of my three year contract I find myself wondering: what am I actually doing here?

Of course, a lot of things need to come before I might feel like I am accomplishing something. I continue to study Nepali and find my vocabulary expanding and my understanding growing. My relationships with the Nepali staff and our families continue to grow, as do those with the staff from North America. While there are things to occupy my time and I am learning and probably growing, I find this continual feeling that I lack any sort of direction in terms of serving among the poorest of the poor to be frustrating and demoralizing.

I have ups and downs. There are moments when I think God is taking me a certain way, like when I moved to Prem Ghar, our home for elderly women, two months ago. But things don't turn out as I expect they will. So, I am again at a place of feeling like I am hardly serving among the poor that I came to be with. And I don't know what steps to take forward. Which causes me to question my vocation and wonder why God brought me here, and make me nervous about saying something like this to people who are paying for me to be here.

I was thinking about all of this today while at a prayer group. We meet to pray for those who are sexually exploited and trafficked. My mind was wandering and I was thinking about the directionless feeling, and the guilt I feel for not meeting my own expectations of actively serving the poor, and how my supporters can't know until after I've got it all figured out. And then a thought came, probably from God: Andrew, do you still find your identity here? In what you do, and in what people think of you? The answer is 'yes.' I still find my identity in what I do and what others think of me. And not in where it ought to lie, in the truth that I am a child of God. For many (all?) of us, this is the struggle. Our insecurities build up and we continually turn to things other than God for our approval and affirmation.

While I don't wish to always be in a state of feeling like I am doing nothing in light of such huge problems in the world, maybe there are things to learn here. In fact, maybe I must learn these things before I can really be useful. Maybe what I need to learn is the beauty of being useless. Henri Nouwen rights in his book, In the Name of Jesus, of our perpetual need for the spectacular, which I continually relate to. And so I attempted to give up some of that need by going to serve six elderly women. As I said in a previous letter, that's not something most people think of as spectacular. But despite this move towards simplicity and service, I continue to long for accomplishment and success in ways that are more American than they are Christian. I want to prove that what I am doing is worthwhile, both to myself and to those watching me.

I am not advocating for apathy or laziness. Instead I am simply submitting that in our accomplishment driven culture, we easily lose sight of the truth: that we are worthwhile because we are God's children. And it is only through this truth that we can really offer the world something worthwhile. We offer them more than ourselves or our service. Through this submission of our identities to Christ and finding our worth in relation to God, we offer them the same truth - that they too are God's beloved children. And that truth has more transforming power than any of the tasks we might try to accomplish.

I am far from having this figured out. I tell you all of this because it is the truth of what I am struggling with in Nepal. Pray for me and our community as we continue to search for direction. Pray for the truth that my identity is in Christ would be realized in my heart and mind. That I would believe that in Jesus I am a new creation. Thanks for your prayers and support. Through the good times and the bad. Through times of confidence and those of uncertainty. Slow down today.

The Ride to Daman and Back - in photos

2008-11-01T05:00:00.005-05:00

The Man - Shiva.

The Himalayas.
At the Top.
The Way Down
The Kathmandu Valley

Glass, Pipes, and Blood on the Walls

2008-10-31T02:12:00.003-05:00

The Setting:
Last night Calvin and I were staying at the office, so that we could use the internet and spend some time on the phone with friends and loved ones. The office is on the first floor of a five story building. Also on the first floor is Jesse’s apartment, located right by the front door of the building. The landlord lives a floor up. And Brook and Kara live two floors above that.

The Story:
Around midnight Calvin and Andrew hear a disturbance outside the office door.
Calvin thinks it is a robbery and quickly locks the door.
It soon becomes apparent that there is a fight going on right outside.
In true Calvin and Andrew form, they consider breaking up the fight.
Glass breaks, and they decide against their usual course of action.
After five minutes things get quiet. Calvin opens the door to discover shards of glass, broken bricks and blood splattered around the hallway.
Meanwhile, Andrew continues talking to one Susan Smartt on skype.
Calvin calls Jesse, who immediately tells Calvin to lock the office door.
Calvin closes the door and the shouting in the hallway begins again.
Andrew, having finished his skype call, and Calvin hear voices outside the office windows.
Calvin turns the office lights off and Andrew and Calvin shut their computers to keep the light from raising attention.
Andrew thinks Calvin is overreacting, and assumes the people walking by already saw the lights on.
“They know we’re here,” says Andrew.
Calvin tells him to quiet down.
Calvin talks to Jesse again, who tells him there are 25 to 30 people outside his window.
Calvin and Andrew think Jesse is exaggerating.
Jesse also says the landlord, Uncle Pandy, has locked the door, and the police are trying to get in.
Jesse doesn’t know what to do.
The shouting continues and people are heard running up the stairs.
Jesse tells Calvin the cops have been let in.
Andrew gets a call from Brook, telling him to stay away from the windows. Brook and Kara are watching from their balcony. Brook says there is an angry mob, in front of Jesse’s window, threatening the landlord, telling him they will throw bricks through the windows if they don’t let him in.
Andrew and Calvin hide their computers and crouch down by the office door, away from windows.
Andrew gets a call from Kara, explaining the problem was caused by a drug deal gone awry. There are cops in the building. But there is an angry mob outside with pipes in hand, demanding that our African neighbor, Baba, be handed over. Kara then explains that there are Nepalis moving to the back of the building, because there is another way inside.
Andrew realizes the other way is a door into the office.
Calvin makes a plan with Jesse for Calvin and Andrew to run to his room shouting his name, if people try to break into the office from the outside. Jesse will then open the door, we’ll sprint inside, and be safe with our beloved field director.
Calvin and Andrew sit in the office in the dark and listen to the cops, other nepalis, and the landlord argue outside the office door, wondering if the people walking around back will try to break in.
Andrew begins to doze off, when they hear a knock at the door.
“Jesse?” whispers calvin.
“Hey.”
To Andrew and Calvin’s relief, it is Jesse.
Calvin and Andrew open the door.
Andrew and Jesse walk to Jesse’s room as Calvin locks the office door.
Andrew realizes the door to the building is open and sees angry Nepalis coming towards it.
“Calvin! Come on!” shouts Andrew.
Calvin runs into the room and tells Jesse to lock the door.
There is a knock at the door.
Jesse opens the door.
Calvin, Andrew and Jesse stare at the Nepalis, who are staring back, trying to look around.
Jesse turns on the light and says, “There’s no Africans here.”
“Sorry, Sorry, Sorry. Oh Sorry,” they respond. One of them has blood all over his face.
Jesse closes the door and the three of them discuss what has been happening.
Andrew and Calvin find out Jesse has been sitting with his own pipe in hand, steel-toed boots ready for action. His backpack is packed with his passport and money inside.
Finally, Calvin, Andrew and Jesse hear Baba plead with the police not to take him outside into the angry mob of drunk Nepalis.
“You are under my custody now,” they hear one cop respond in English.
Andrew, Calvin and Jesse look out the window to see Baba escorted outside by the police.
An angry Nepali tries to get at Baba.
Baba is taken away by the cops as his wife cries out to anyone listening to help her and her husband.
The landlord goes inside.
Baba’s wife returns inside and locks the building door.
Andrew, Calvin, and Jesse go up to Brook and Kara’s apartment to debrief and hear their perspective.
It is then that they learn that the crowd of angry Nepalis was not 25 people. They numbered close to 50.
They discuss the drunkenness that occurs during festivals, and the generally peaceful Nepali people who somehow quickly turn to angry violence. They also surmised the potential depth of Baba’s involvement with the Mafia. They are sad to see this happen to their friendly neighbor, and feel for their avoid-conflict-at-all-costs-landlord, Uncle Pandy.
It’s 2:15 in the morning and Brook, Kara, Jesse, Andrew and Calvin go to bed.

*Co-authored by Calvin Smothers and Andrew Ulasich

Motorcycles and Lights

2008-10-29T05:37:00.003-05:00

On Saturday, my roommate, Calvin, and his girlfriend, Liz, had a romantic getaway outside of Kathmandu. Calvin took Liz on a motorcycle a few hours to a place called Daman. The drive takes you over the hills that surround the Kathmandu valley, providing an incredible view of the Himalayas. I think our friend, Shiva, was jealous when he heard about the drive, so yesterday Shiva and I took our own drive to Daman. Very romantic.

The drive is about 3 1/2 hours. On the way we stopped for some "local tea" which tasted the same as the tea in Kathmandu (don't tell Shiva). We reached the top, enjoyed the view, and began our journey back down. Shiva heard about a short cut back to the city. He was shocked at how long it took to get there, and I think wanted to get home a bit sooner. So, he eagerly took the route. Shiva assured me he "verified" the route with two people, which I knew, because I can understand Nepali. Anyway, we proceeded to take a dirt road filled with sections of sand and rock that made for quite the bump ride down.

At one point I convinced myself to ignore the slight pain the ride was causing, and to enjoy the present moment. The children on the road, the quaint villages we passed through and the gorgeous scenery all served to bring peace and joy to the ride. I was thankful for where I was. It was a good moment. But it didn't last. By about 2 hours in, I was ready to be done, wondering about the wisdom of this decision. Still, an hour and a half left to go. Not a shortcut. It was a painful ride home. And I'm sore today, but I'm glad Shiva and I were able to get away for the day and enjoy a ride through the foothills of Nepal. Pretty spectacular.

I reached home and was reminded that it was the third day of Tihar, Nepal's festival of lights. Calvin and I have been living in a one room apartment, while the two other rooms in the building are currently unoccupied. When I arrived home I found the landlord and his family in one of the rooms, setting up their puja, or worship. In one room was a picture of the Hindu goddess of wealth, Laxmi, with candles lit underneath. Outside was a red circle on the pavement, made with cow dung and red clay. On top of that they placed assorted colors of tika powder. From the circle to the picture was a red path with little white footprints on the road. Apparently, Laxmi was making her way into the house to bring wealth.

Calvin and I walked the streets last night, enjoying the festivities as candles and gaudy lights lit the city, children sang walked from house to house singing carols, dancing and asking for money, and celebrants set off fireworks including black cats and bottle rockets. We talked about the celebration, a lot of which (the lights, the caroling, and the fireworks resembling our holidays), while other parts were so foreign. Sometimes it takes a picture of a Hindu goddess and her footprints to remind me of how different this place is. At the same time, the way we come together as a community to celebrate and share in life is not all that different. As my friend Josiah says, people are people.

Check out some pics from last night on Calvin's blog.

Ecumenism Part IV; Mount Everest

2008-10-23T01:11:00.003-05:00

With my developing openness to other expressions and traditions of following Jesus, I decided to visit a few different churches in Nepal. For several weeks I went to the church most of our Nepali staff attend. It is a Pentecostal church with several hours of dancing, singing, speaking (or shouting) in tongues, and the occasional casting out of demons. A little wild. And just about as different for me as the Orthodox church was. For a couple weeks I went to a church that was more typical of the one I grew up in. There was music and preaching, pretty calm but far from liturgical. The Nepali pastor went to seminary in the states and from what I could make out from his sermons, leaned towards a reformed theology. I was shocked to hear John Piper quoted in Nepal. In May I started attending a Catholic church.

There is a lot I liked about the Catholic church, besides the fact that it didn’t last 4-5 hours like the Pentecostal church. While the service is liturgical, making it similar in process to every Catholic church around the world, it was distinctly Nepali. The music resembled Nepali music, as opposed to the totally Western style you’ll find in most Protestant Churches. And when they bring the offering forward, they also bring fruits, biscuits, and a plate with flowers and a candle burning. Usually a young girl then offers that plate up, and moves it in a circular direction three times before putting it at the altar. I haven’t seen this take place among Hindus, but I imagine you would find something similar in the Hindu temple. It is a beautiful example of contextualization, in which cultural practices are not abandoned for western ones, while Jesus remains the center of worship.*

Besides what takes place during mass, I think we Protestants have a lot to learn from Catholics. First, Catholics do service really well. While evangelicals have been preaching for years, Catholics have been caring for the poor and suffering, seeking Jesus among the downtrodden. While this is of course not true across the board, Catholic Christians often stand as an example for us in serving those who the world abandons, but whom God has not forgotten. In just a few conversations we came to learn that Catholics in Kathmandu have a school for those who cannot afford school. The youth group regularly visits families in slums, and are hoping to open a school for children in slums. The Sisters of Charity (Mother Teresa’s order) have a home for mentally disabled children and serve the elderly who live by Pashupatinath, the Hindu temple. I spent some time serving the elderly with them this week and was impressed by the simplicity of their lives and the joy that characterized their service.

Second, the Protestant Church has recently taken an interest in spiritual formation, especially through avenues that are more contemplative, even mystical. I think this is a good step for us, but Catholics have been doing it for years and we can learn from them as we seek to live more closely to the Spirit of God. There is a lot of literature from Catholics that can lead us forward.

Also, as I mentioned above, I see more of an attempt to contextualize the Christian faith within the Nepali culture. I know the fear here is syncretism, in which people mix the belief in Jesus with other beliefs and practices - whether worshipping other gods, ancestor worship, or various animistic beliefs and rituals. But what I see on the opposite end is a foreign religion that upon conversion demands people become less Nepali and more western. What I would hope to see is people learning to follow Jesus within their culture. Yes, certain cultural habits may need to be shed. But following Jesus ought not mean becoming western in lifestyle. I see the Catholic Church actually struggling to flesh this out, instead of reverting to black and white ultimatums about cultural habits that don’t deserve them.

Our attendance at the Catholic church caused quite a stir among our Protestant Nepali friends. They admittedly didn’t know much about Catholicism, beyond the few key things they were told by their pastor: 1) Catholics worship Mary, 2) There is no salvation outside of Jesus, 3) Catholics, therefore, go to hell, and 4) If you become a Catholic, you will go to hell. This understanding really saddened me, and actually made my desire to go to the Catholic church stronger. Beyond just being reactive, which I know I can be, it made clear the serious need to build relationships with other Christians, and construct bridges within the Church, so that we might move towards being the whole body of Christ.

We shared the Apostle’s Creed with our Nepali friends, who believe the statements of that creed, and explained that it is a central creed in the Protestant, Catholic and Orthodox Church. These core beliefs bring us together. Calvin talked with the priests at the church about some of the concerns about Catholicism and shared his responses with our friends. Satisfied that Catholicism may not merely be “false doctrine,” as they have been taught, we left the conversation open. In the past few months we have had other WMF staff members who are either Catholic or significantly involved in the Catholic Church share their experiences with our Nepali friends.

When I look around at Nepal and see the poverty, the suffering, the boys on the streets and the girls trafficked to India, the abandoned elderly and those addicted to drugs, I dream of what a difference the Church could make, if only the Church was unified and mobilized to respond in the way of Jesus. I’m told there are a million Protestants and seven thousand Catholics in Nepal. I think this makes it tempting to ignore the rift in the Church and just make gains among Protestants. But when writing about the body of Christ, Paul emphasizes the importance of each part, that no part can be discarded (1 Corinthians 12). We can attempt to act as the body of Christ, with certain small parts denied. Our hands and feet may be small in comparison to the rest of our body. But we won’t get very far without them. So, I am attending a Catholic church in hopes of both learning from Catholics and in drawing together Christians from different denominations in order to better serve a country that needs Christ.

The concept of ecumenism is a lofty dream. And when the basis of understanding of the other is merely that they go to hell, getting anywhere seems comparable to moving that mountain down the road. But as in all reconciliation, what is needed is for individual Protestant and Catholic (and Orthodox) Christians to know each other and to love each other. Then people might actually believe us when we say our God is love. And Jesus’ words might then ring true: By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. (John 13:35)

*The concept of contextualization opens up another can of worms that I might share my thoughts on...some day.

Ecumenism Part III; The Body Divided

2008-10-16T21:31:00.002-05:00

When the world seems to be falling to pieces, I have often wondered, Where is the Church? Where is the body of Christ amidst the pain, conflict, injustice and poverty? While there are parts of the body doing pretty amazing things, the whole is incredibly fragmented. Orthodox, Catholic and Protestant Christians often seem to spend more time pointing out the flaws of the other, settling comfortably into their own doctrinal conclusions, than actually being the body of Christ. And they refuse, in many cases, not only to work together in love and communion, but even to talk to the other.

I hear that even in certain ecumenical conferences, where women and men come together to seek unity among believers, that at the time of Holy Communion/Eucharist/Lord’s Supper, denominations separate to receive the bread and wine, before coming back together. Of course, it’s easier for us Protestants to come to the table with others when our tradition teaches it is merely a time to remember Christ’s sacrifice. Nothing more or less. While Catholics and Orthodox believe that a very holy thing is taking place, that being Transubstantiation. If the bread and wine actually become the body and blood of Christ in both a real and mystical way, this holy sacrament ought not be taken likely. I understand their reservation (and in most cases refusal) to have Protestants participate.

Still, the fact that the body of Christ cannot come together around the table of Christ deeply saddens me. If we cannot do this, if we cannot come together in love, what can we do for the Kingdom of God?

If you check out the Wikipedia page on ecumenism, you’ll find Word Made Flesh (WMF) listed among the ecumenical organizations. I think Chris, International Executive Director of WMF, would say we’re pursuing ecumenicalism*, while our staff and board (with several exceptions) is largely composed of Protestant Evangelicals. Still, Chris has this to say about ecumenicalism:

For many evangelicals, ecumenicalism is a concept we react against. To many, it implies liberalizing our faith communities through compromise and assumes that ecumenical unity dilutes the commitment to the values and truth found in the Scripture. In WMF we refer to ecumenicalism as not moving away from values and truth for the sake of unity, but rather moving toward the center -- Christ. When Catholic, Orthodox and Protestant Christians can come together in the name of Jesus we see the body of Christ restored in its fullness and His integrity in the world today reclaimed. How will the world know we are His by our love for one another if we are a fractured and segmented body? In WMF we are starting to see the potential of a united body of Christ engaging the world’s negligence in addressing the fundamental issues of justice.

Quoted in: Word Made Flesh Field Forum; 2006. Page 3.11.

I believe in what Chris writes here. I believe the world is in need of Jesus, and until we, as Christ’s body and God’s ambassadors, learn to love and trust each other and seek to work together in community and service, we will continue working against our prayer that the Kingdom of God would come.

The conclusion, for now, with Ecumenism Part IV; Mount Everest, to come.

*I use Ecumenism and Ecumenicalism interchangeably here.

Sari Bari online store is open

2008-10-16T21:25:00.002-05:00

You can now purchase Sari Bari blankets and purses from the website.

From the website:

Sari Bari is a safe home where women, who have been exploited in the sex trade, can have their dignity restored and experience new life in the making.

Each of our products made from the Indian sari is marked with a woman's name, a woman who now has the opportunity to make a choice for freedom and new life.

Ecumenism Part II; The Shift

2008-10-15T00:03:00.004-05:00

In the Spring of 2005 I participated in the Middle East Studies Program. Most of my time was spent in Egypt, studying Arabic, Islam, and Middle Eastern culture and politics. During the semester I also traveled to Turkey, Syria and Jordan, and visited Palestine and Israel after the program concluded. While there, I was confronted not only by the millions of adherents to Islam, but also by various strands of Christianity, including the Coptics in Egypt, and Orthodox and Catholic Christians in the other countries we visited. What I found there, was people who may have vastly different interpretations of the Bible than mine, yet they deeply love Jesus and live to serve him. One of those people was Elias Chacour.

Chacour is a Catholic Palestinian priest in Israel. Today he is the Archbishop of Galilee. Chacour came to Egypt from Israel to dialogue with us about religion, theology, faith and politics. While I was shocked at some of the differences in our beliefs, I was moved by his love for Jesus and for his own people. Throughout the week with Chacour I started to realize not only the differences in our beliefs, but the way our interpretations of the Bible were rooted in our respective cultures. Me in my American culture, and he in his Palestinian culture. I remember one tense moment when someone quoted Augustine (I don’t remember what about), and Chacour strongly replied “This is your western theology!”

I’ll give an example of our different interpretations. In Luke chapter four we read Jesus’ words to the Jews gathered in the synagogue. Quoting Isaiah, he says, “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Not knowing of any people imprisoned that shouldn’t be there, and having no experience (that I knew of) with people who are physically, emotionally, materially, or politically oppressed, I, as my culture taught, spiritualized this passage. Christ came to proclaim freedom for those who are imprisoned by sin and death, to released those oppressed by Satan. Chacour, though, was kicked off his land when he was a child. Like the rest of his community, his father and older brothers were taken to Jordan where they lived as refugees, while he went with the women and children who were forced to live in another area. Their homes and farms were bulldozed by Israeli troops. His friends and community members have been imprisoned unjustly. His people are an oppressed people. When he reads Jesus’ words here, the good news is for his people. A people oppressed, imprisoned, and living in considerable poverty. He does not spiritualize this good news. The good news is freedom for his people. Here. Now. On this Earth. Real freedom.

We can debate what Jesus meant here. I think there is room for both interpretations; that we don’t need to separate spiritual from physical freedom. But this dialogue with Chacour, and the confrontation with Islam and other strands of Christianity made me realize a couple things: 1) People disagree about everything, and 2) These disagreements, specifically in interpreting Scripture, are largely rooted in our cultural upbringing. These two together have brought me to two conclusions: 1) Maybe we don’t have it all figured out, and 2) Maybe what we need is a little humility; that we should seek to learn from each other a little more than we attempt to point out where the other is wrong.

I know beliefs are important to how we think and live. And I believe in truth, and in the search for truth. My experiences, though, have convinced me that I have a long way to go in this search. And while remaining a Protestant Evangelical Christian, I have given up the assumption that we’ve got it all nailed down. It’s an assumption I find too common in our communities, and probably, among followers of many faiths. I have a lot to learn - from Elias Chacour, from Orthodox, Protestant and Catholic Christians. These communities are often suspicious of each other. Adherents to each group claim to be the true Church, with the others either going to hell, or at best to smaller houses in heaven. As Christians, we haven’t come to believe we can learn from each other. We definitely don’t believe that working together is worthwhile (or worse, it is compromising our faith/beliefs). And in this rejection of each other, we fail to acknowledge what I do believe to be true: that all of us love Jesus, are seeking to serve him, and are praying for his kingdom to come on earth as it is in heaven. That we are all God’s beloved children. Until we acknowledge this, we will never learn to love one another, and the body of Christ will continue in division and fragmentation. Unfortunately, this division is our testimony to the world.

Next up: Ecumenism Part III; The Body Divided

Ecumenism Part I; A Suspicious Evangelical

2008-10-13T01:32:00.003-05:00

The following series is a part of my journey from growing up with little understanding of or interaction with different traditions within Christianity to traveling the world and being confronted with followers of Jesus who don't share all of the doctrine I was taught. It is not necessarily an appeal for more interaction among us who differ in our ways of following Jesus. It is even less an attempt to stir up debate over the specifics of where we differ. It is, as I said, my journey. And in the end it will take me to Nepal, where I am currently attending a Catholic Church. But that's for another post.

I grew up in an Evangelical Protestant home, and have only a few memories of Catholics growing up. I remember going to my grandmother’s funeral at a Catholic Church, and not being able to take communion. I remember one of my best friends in elementary school, Daniel, was Catholic. I don’t remember how or by whom it was explained to me, but my general understanding was that most Catholics weren’t actually Christians. Or maybe more tactfully said, didn’t have a relationship with Jesus Christ. There were some Catholics who I’d see in heaven one day. Hopefully my friend Daniel would be there. And maybe Mother Teresa...maybe. But for the most part, Catholics were not ‘saved.’ It was usually explained that their gospel was works-based, as opposed to being ‘saved by grace through faith.’ And at times people brought up their heretical theology, whether about Mary, or the Pope, or the Priesthood in general, the Roman Catholic Church was apparently full of false doctrine. Of course, I didn’t know anything about Orthodox Christians, but assumed they were similar to Catholics.

As I entered an Evangelical university, these opinions continued. I think by this time there was more openness to these other avenues of Christianity, while my ignorance of the other two faiths remained. In 2004 I went to Greece with the university choir. While there we traveled with a Greek Evangelical tour guide, who we all adored. He brought us to a Greek Orthodox Church, telling us of the persecution experienced among Protestants by the Orthodox. We watched mass occur among the Orthodox. Uncomfortable with this different form of Christianity, many of us concluded that this was a ritualistic religion, in which people carried out these actions merely to keep up with cultural norms. It was explained to us that they come to take Eucharist to get to heaven, and leave without much thought of following Jesus.

The same year I traveled to Romania with a short-term missions team. After the fall of Communism there, those who returned to, or held onto their religion embraced Orthodox Christianity. The rest embraced the atheism of the Soviet regime. Very few Romanians were Protestant Christians. While the Americans we worked with there told us they weren’t interested in converting Orthodox Christians, that they wanted the ‘sinners,’ our leaders found themselves in a dispute with the Orthodox Church. The priests wanted nothing to do with us, and were indignant at our attempts to ‘convert their parishioners.’ At the time, I was disappointed that the Orthodox clergy would want to hinder our work. But I left Romania still largely ignorant of Orthodox Christianity and with very little actual interaction with a person of the Orthodox strand of our faith.

My ignorance, my suspicion of these unknown avenues of Christianity as ‘works-based’ gospels, and my own beliefs that I for so long took for granted would take a serious hit less than a year later. Stay tuned for Ecumenism Part II; The Shift.

This American Life

2008-10-11T05:39:00.002-05:00

The latest podcast from This American Life is an hour long special on just what caused the current economic crisis. If you're like me, and need someone to dumb it down for you - into terms that are actually understandable - this is really informative. I'd check it out at thisamericanlife.org or available on iTunes.

What Next?

2008-10-09T15:47:00.004-05:00

I'm having a hard time coming up with a plan. Of course, I didn't promise a plan, but a few potential responses to our current political climate and the upcoming presidential election.

I respect my friends (like these people) who, when considering the candidates, find themselves unable to vote for either leading candidate because either vote shows support for the establishment that looks to them more like Rome or Babylon, than the City on a Hill that some like to call our nation. I understand their decision, and see the difference between that and apathy. Thus, I am not convinced that good Christians are required to vote. People say, "if you don't vote, don't complain." I think we should try and keep complaining at a minimum anyway (though I'm not always very good at that), but I don't think choosing not to vote keeps us from speaking truth to power. Of course, that's different from complaining.

I also resonate with Robbie's concern (see Robbie's comment, "Thirdly,...") that in our voting and in our country's foreign policy we look to our government as a messianic figure, whether one of ridding the world of evil (as on the right) or the attempted fruit of peace-loving activists (which I aspire to). Either way someone (or something) else plays the role of the savior of the world, which is only Christ's role. Barack Obama will not save us. Nor will Sarah Palin. Nor will Ralph Nader.

Despite my resonance with Robbie and with my empire-rejecting friends, I have a difficult time moving past the truth of how much our policies (including domestic economic policies) affect the world (for good or for ill). Which brings me to two responses pulling at me from opposite sides.

Half (maybe less than half) of me wants to work tirelessly to reform the system that is controlled by wealthy, corporate elites. A system and government that in it's greed and pursuit of power has sought military, economic and social dominance at the expense of people around the world, and the poorest in our own country. For example, we spend 3 trillion dollars on a war, give 700 billion dollars to bailout the wealthy elite, but won't give money to health care for poor children in our own country. Meanwhile, the right attacks the liberal media, while the left mocks Fox's "fair and balanced reporting." Yet who is even mentioning the fact that the Republican and Democratic Parties own this election? In the game of politics they decide who plays and what the issues are. Our government is largely in the hands of special interest groups and corporate powers. If we want democracy to flourish in this country, we are in need of some serious reform.

The other half of me is full of questions: Is this what I care most about? Is it worth my time? Our country's democracy? Why not just work for more unity in the Church or freedom for the girls in the brothels? Because I do care about those. How important, in God's kingdom, is a reform of our political processes? And if I did deem it worth my time, what do I do? Support Ralph Nader? Take up journalism? Keep blogging about politics (I know, you come on here to read about life in Nepal and you get this)?

Do I try to make the best of what we've got and vote for Barack Obama or John McCain? Do I vote for someone else as a protest of our processes, of our empire, and of the establishment? Or do I work to bring real change to the system? If so, how?

My hope is that our economic crisis will open our eyes to our greed, and that of our nation’s. That it might bring our country to a place of discontent with the current political options that are determined for us, to the extent that real reform is possible with broad support from the American people. That reform would take the workings of our government out of the hands of corporate, militaristic powers. Who might lead the way in this is yet to be seen.

But for those of us who are left wondering what to do next, not persuaded that our next step is to drop everything and work to reform our government (which some of us may decide), this can be a time for the Church to evaluate how to be the Church, on the ground, among people who are struggling to make ends meet, both down our blocks and in other parts of the world where the poorest continue to suffer the most. It is a time to evaluate our own complacency, even participation in the greed and idolatry of our nation, to confess our sins, and with a lot of humility, seek justice and mercy in a suffering world. More further reading, check out Empire Remixed thoughts here and here. And check out Sojourners' call for a public forum across the Christian spectrum to develop a Christian and pastoral response to the economic crisis here.

October 2008 Prayer Letter

2008-10-07T22:10:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends,

The weather is beginning to change here in Kathmandu. While the days remain hot and the monsoon rains continue day after day, the mornings have a chill in the air that we haven’t had all summer. So, when I head over to Prem Ghar at 6 in the morning for prayer with our ammas, I get excited about putting on a sweatshirt and drinking the cup of coffee that will inevitably be there for me when I arrive.

During this time, I continue to think about the beautiful rhythm our world has. In Minnetonka when the fall comes, the leaves turn orange, red, and yellow before turning to brown and falling off the tree. The fall in Kathmandu may not offer the wild colors that Minneonka does, but I’m told that the clouds will finally part and the mountains, hidden this whole time, will show through. This morning before prayer I saw a few peaks poking through the colorful sky.

One of the hardest parts about being here has been the challenge of finding a healthy rhythm to my weeks and days. It feels like every day is different and every week brings something new to get in the way of structure and rhythm. As a result there are times I feel I am not working enough and other times when I’m so busy I don’t find time to sit down and read a book. After those busy weeks I find myself recovering, trying to find my ground again, and searching for that rhythm of learning the language, building relationships, advocating on behalf of and serving the poor.

At the beginning of September I traveled from Kathmandu to Darjeeling. I left tired, frustrated, longing for a break from this chaotic city, and fighting a chest infection. When I arrived in Darjeeling the chest infection turned into pneumonia. So, I spent my week of vacation drinking lots of tea, resting, and chatting with my friend, Josiah (who traveled from California and stopped to see me on his way to London). It was in the middle of the night, while the fever was raging, and my lungs felt they would fall apart from my incessant coughs, when I decided something needed to change. And I’ve concluded that what I need is some consistency. So, I am taking a lesson from the changing of seasons, and creating some rhythm in my life.

I’ve returned to Kathmandu hoping to remain flexible, but also protective of the space I need to live this life well. I’m guarding my day off, and the time alone I need to connect with the Spirit of God. I’ve realized that part of what has been missing in my life is the consistent communion with God. It is here, though, that life is found. Between dealing with culture stress, the chaotic life in this city, and the difficulties of working among the poor, there is enough in this life to burn us out...or give us pneumonia. And it is connection with God that renews us and gives us strength to live well. While I know growing up in the church, the application for every Bible study was to pray more and read my Bible more, what we’re really looking for is a deeper relationship with the God who loves us. And yes, prayer and Bible study point us in that direction. So, I’m finally attempting to take the advice of the mystics we read who tell us that service without contemplation is merely social work or activism. But with contemplation, with that connection with the Spirit of God who is within us, we find real transformation take place, in us and in those whom we serve. That’s what I’m walking towards. Walk with me.

I’d appreciate your prayers, friends. Pray for my body, which can’t seem to catch a break. Pray for direction and guidance as I walk on. And pray that I would find the rhythm I need to find intimacy with God and to serve my friends well. Slow down this fall. And spend some time with the Spirit within you. Thanks for your love and prayers.

peace,

Andrew

a couple pics from darjeeling

2008-10-07T12:58:00.001-05:00

with my boy josiah, in the tea plantations, on a rainy afternoon

sipping darjeeling tea at a crazy lady's home

I've got my absentee ballot in hand

2008-10-07T10:24:00.007-05:00

I've always respected my parents for not putting political signs in their yard, even while the red, blue and sometimes green signs decorated our cities. My father said he didn't see the need to bring division with our neighbors who might have different political opinions, when the sign will probably do nothing to sway their votes. My hope is that the following post will not serve as a campaign sign that does nothing but put walls between us. I know Obama is the man, and I'm reminded that people are in love with Palin and confident in a McCain Commander in Chief. But as you'll see, despite betraying some of my liberal biases, it's more a frustration with the system and disappointment with both major candidates that I want to address.

I got what I wanted:
Very early on in the primaries I said, "I wish we would have an election with John McCain and Barack Obama as the candidates. Then we wouldn't have to decide between the lesser of two evils. We would have on the right a Maverick among Republicans who actually seems compassionate towards immigrants, against torture, and I suppose if we're in a war, I'd rather have him at the helm than W. And on the left, an agent of change. A voice of hope. Someone who cares for the poor, and would give the United States a better reputation around the world. Someone who, unlike Bush II, would not make me embarrassed when I am asked by people in other countries where I am from."

What went wrong Mr. McCain?
As John McCain grew in popularity, it seemed his stance on the aforementioned issues became less important. And then he became the Republican presumptive nominee. And I do not know, for the life of me, why at that point he decided it was time to pander to the conservative base. His Maverick persona (which faded long ago) got him that far. Why not keep with it? I find he and Palin to bring nothing more than the militaristic, empire stretching, pro-corporate ideals of the Bush Administration. And Palin adds the dangerously flippant use of 'God's will' and 'being on the side of good' that got us into the past two wars.

What Went Wrong Mr. Obama?
Obama, as you may know, I have liked for a long time. I still love that 'yes we can' promotional video. We all seem to know we need something new in Washington. Someone who would bring an end to the partisan politics that got us nowhere, and actually bring change and hope after eight years of political fighting during a war that shouldn't have happened and a president that not too many people are keen on. Obama was that change. He was the man. But honestly, he has disappointed me lately. He was supposed to be the candidate of peace. As he likes to remind us all, he voted against the war in Iraq when it was 'politically unpopular to do so.' But now it seems it was not so much an aversion to war, but the belief that it was the wrong war, that motivated him to vote that way. It wasn't concern for the Iraqi people, or for the Middle East in general, but just the conviction that we ought to be in Afghanistan. Not Iraq. And now Pakistan.

And then comes $700 billion dollars. And I am expecting something big from Obama. Now, I know I said I appreciated his bipartisan attitude before. But in a time when Bush is using his usual means of shocking us and making us believe that if we don't act, and don't act NOW, we will be killed by more terrorists, I mean weapons of mass destruction, I mean our economy will fail, I would expect someone like Obama to stand apart. Please Mr. Obama, talk to us like FDR, who told us 'the only thing to fear is fear itself,' and who proceeded to declare a banking holiday and set up a system of regulations to fix the economic system, instead of giving billions of dollars to the wealthy who caused the mess and plan to figure out those regulations later. If you act less like George W. Bush and more like FDR, we will love you for it. I know you're a pragmatic man, but, come on! I don't understand it. Where is the hope, Mr. Obama? Where is the change?

That, in short, is some of my beef with our two options. And now...as for the fact that we have only two options:

700 Billion Dollars:
I don't understand what happened here. Bush announces he wants to give $700 billion to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson (without regulation, judicial review or any type of oversight, by the way) to bail out wallstreet, the people who we see got us into this mess. The nation is up in arms. People won't have it. They don't want tax payer money to go towards helping out the richest people in our country. Politicians are against it. The Banking Committee lambastes Paulson and Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke for the appeal that included, among a lot of other flaws, giving a lot of unregulated money to the former CEO of Goldman Sachs (Paulson) in order to bail out other CEOs in companies like Goldman Sachs. Even economists expressed why this could be a bad idea. So, the House listened to economists, other experts, and the American people and killed the bill. And the Dow dropped more than it has dropped in a long time.

So now what? Bush says, 'you see? see what happens if we don't pass this bill? the market continues to crumble.' In essence: 'be afraid. Be very afraid. And then do what I say.' Then our only candidates tell us, 'no really, we need to pass this bill. Let's just play along and get this thing done.' And we (as in the rest of us Americans) are like, 'well. I don't know. It sounds like a terrible plan. But our economy is hurting. We've got to do something, right?' And since no one has any better idea. And the politicians aren't going to listen to me anyway ... But other people do have ideas.

We're just not letting them speak:
Let me introduce you to some people: Ralph Nader and Matt Gonzalez on the Independent ticket. Cynthia McKinney and Rosa Clemente of the Green Party. Roger Calero and Alyson Kennedy representing the Socialist Workers. Bob Barr and Wayne A. Root are the Libertarians. Chuck Baldwin and Darrell Castle leading the Constitution ticket. Some of these names I only know because my absentee ballot is sitting in front of me. But they are also running for the U.S. presidency. Have you heard? No you probably haven't. Democracy, you say?

Here's what I learned about the debate process (from opendebates.org, which i heard about on a daily news podcast, Democracy Now!): In 1988 the Republican and Democratic parties took control of the debate process through the Commission on Presidential Debates. According to, George Farah, much of the money that is given to this 'non-partisan' organization is from private corporations that have a 'regulatory interest before congress.' Who leads the commission? Frank Fahrenkopf and Paul Kirk, who twenty years ago were the heads of the Democratic and Republican parties. Fahrenkopf is also CEO of the American Gaming Association. Kirk, a lobbyist for the pharmaceutical industry. Might they also have an interest in keeping pro-corporate candidates at the table and everyone else off? Just maybe. So, these two men, fueled by money from corporate powers, lead the way in deciding who even sits at the table to debate. And the Republican and Democratic candidates are left to make deals on how the debate will be facilitated. This is a mockery of democracy. Which makes me think it is time for a change. And I don't think it is anything the Republicans or Democrats can provide.

So what do we do? Well, I don't have a plan. But stay tuned for some possible responses if you're as disappointed in our two current contenders and as frustrated with our so called 'democratic system' as I am. And while you're at it, read Chris' post of how he feels conflicted when election time rolls around. And check out democracynow.org if you're looking for an independent news source.

What's New

2008-10-02T11:25:00.004-05:00

1. The skies were totally clear the other day. Who knew the mountains were behind those clouds this whole time?

2. I have a beard. Everyone asks me why. As if I can't just grow one because I feel like it. I've been told Nepali men let their beards grow when they are depressed. They asked if my girlfriend broke up with me. Maybe the beard needs to go?

3. I got stuck in the rain last week and decided it was time for a new umbrella. My first one broke and I left my second one in a taxi. Both of those were too small, so my legs would get wet anyway. This time I bought a big one. It doesn't fold up and fit in my backpack like the others. So, I carry it around with me wherever I go. Jyoti's five year old daughter kept calling me a 'Buddha Manche' (old man). After that I've noticed all the old men in Kathmandu carrying a long umbrella that can also be used as a cane. Joining the ranks.

4. Sunday at Prem Ghar has become baking day. So far, I have made sticky buns, cinnamon rolls, brownies, and most recently, peanut butter cookies. Believe it. It's a nice treat for Jyoti's family, and for the ammas, who are used to bland biscuits with tea in the afternoon.

5. I was working in the garden at Prem Ghar a few days ago and picked about 40 squash. Any recipes for squash cake out there?

6. Since I haven't been seriously ill since the bout with pneumonia, I've begun fasting once a week again. I fast on behalf of the women and children who are trafficked for sex. The problem is, although Namaste is a greeting, people where I live greet each other by asking about food. In the morning it is 'have you had tea?' Before noon: 'have you had your meal?' In the afternoon, 'have you had a snack?' And in the evening, 'have you had your meal?' It always seems to be when I'm fasting that every amma asks me if I have eaten daal bhat yet that day. In responding to this question, I see three options. The first is to explain that I am fasting, which I usually don't like doing, but will on occasion. The second is to tell them the truth - that I have not eaten - but without an explanation. Which only leads them to berate me for not eating yet, and remind me how important it is to eat daal bhat, especially since I am so skinny. Fair enough. The third is to avoid having to explain in Nepali that I am fasting, as well as keep the ammas from 'tsk'-ing at me when I tell them I haven't eaten. I do that by lying: 'yes, amma, I've already eaten.' I generally go back and forth between the second and third option.

Those Who Hunger and Thirst

2008-09-25T05:45:00.002-05:00

A couple weeks ago I was at Bible study where we were discussing the beatitudes. We were specifically discussing the ins and outs of verse 6: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. The general consensus seemed to be that 'righteousness' refers to being 'right' before God. That is, being restored in relationship with God by the sacrifice of Christ. Then a German pastor, who was visiting for the night, threw us a curve ball. He told us that in 10 of 10 German translations, those who are filled are those who hunger and thirst for justice.

I found this fascinating because whereas righteousness seems to be mostly between me and God, justice brings to my mind (correct me if I'm wrong theologians) the relations between people. Or as NT Wright describes, the world being put to rights. I found this so interesting because it occurred to me that our translation here, and in other times these words are used in different context, can direct our understanding of the gospel. Or maybe it's the other way around. Either way, those who focus on righteousness preach about our relationship with God, and seem to have a lot more reason to talk about 'getting to heaven so we can be with God eternally.' On the other hand, an emphasis on justice highlights the importance of the work we do on earth. Those who talk about justice don't seem to talk much about heaven (unless they're talking about God's final judgment), and care more about this world being put to rights.

Here's the kicker: our German pastor (I call him a theologian) explained that throughout the Hebrew scriptures, this word that is at times translated justice and other times righteousness, actually includes both. These two can not be separated. Which I think is beautiful. An emphasis on one at the expense of the other, is not the gospel. The gospel, or good news, of Jesus can not be explained as just my relationship with God being made right. Nor can it merely include the world being put to rights. The gospel always includes both. The Kingdom of God always creates righteousness and justice. We do not have one without the other. The gospel is about restored relationship with God, with others, with creation, and within ourselves. It's all of these. That's pretty good news. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness and justice, for they will be filled.

Campaign Support

2008-09-25T05:37:00.003-05:00

This afternoon I brought my friend and coworker, Sumitra, to the Nepalese home. It's that great home for women and children started by Brazilians that I wrote about long ago. Sumitra loved connecting with some of the women and is eager to go back. They are in the beginning stages of sustainable development through small business. We went into one room where women were making bracelets. They were working on an order of 200 bracelets from the U.S. They were all the same - black, with white writing: "OBAMA". I couldn't believe it. My friends in Nepal are making campaign bracelets for our Democratic nominee. Of course, they had no idea who Barack Obama is. Amazing.

On the War in Northern Uganda:

2008-09-23T22:38:00.003-05:00

It is called "the forgotten war." Most westerners know next to nothing about it, and our governments do little to stop it. Frankly, the region holds no strategic geopolitical interest for us. We treat it as just another story of Africans killing Africans in endless guerrilla warfare--a Darfur in slow motion. Perhaps if the rebels were stealing oil rather than children, the world would pay more attention.

-David Batstone, Not For Sale: The Return of the Global Slave Trade--and How We Can Fight It, (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2007) page 111.

On the Global Slave Trade:

2008-09-18T21:28:00.003-05:00

David Batstone addresses the common question of 'How would I have responded?' when we think about Nazi Germany, or slavery of Africans in the United States. The question is, 'How will you respond?' How will you respond to the global slave trade that holds over 27 million women, men, and children captive?

There are times to read history, and there are times to make history. We live right now in one of those epic moments in the fight for human freedom. We no longer have to wonder how we might respond to our moment of truth. It is we who are on the stage, and we can change the winds of history with our actions. Future generations will look back and judge our choices and be inspired or disappointed.

-David Batstone, Not for Sale: The Return of the Global Slave Trade--and How We Can Fight It, (New York: HarperCollins Publishers) page 18.

it's always the economy...stupid

2008-09-18T03:09:00.003-05:00

Since no one has yet played along and added to the list of my previous post, besides the health food comment from susan, and calvin so kindly putting our address up to make it easy for you, I'm going back to the ranting of a disillusioned, yet idealist youth. This time, an essay of sorts on the upcoming election in the United States.

“When the economy is bad, none of these things matter.” It was the spring of 2005 and we were discussing the recent re-election of President George W. Bush with our professor over lunch in Cairo, Egypt. He was speaking about the so-called ‘moral’ issues, like abortion and homosexual marriage, and of the war in Iraq. These issues were clearly significant factors in the 2004 federal election. Of course, what our professor described to us - that these are only important issues when we don’t have a troubled economy - can be summed up in the oft quoted directive of James Carville, Bill Clinton’s 1992 campaign strategist: “The economy, stupid.”

It’s true. Barack Obama and John McCain know it’s true. Which is why in the past few months, the two presidential candidates have attempted to convince us that they have the best plan to lead us from a struggling economy back to the prosperity we Americans know, love, and let’s not forget, deserve. The Iraq war, which in 2006 gave the House of Representatives back to the Democrats, is now hardly an issue. Sure, a few hawks and doves will give their vote for a candidate’s stance on the war, but not many. Abortion, which in 2004 was the battle cry of social conservatives and the religious right, often claimed to be the swing vote Bush needed for his victory, is mentioned in passing. I’m confident that there are pro-life voters who will again make this their one and only issue. But it won’t give McCain the election the way it did Bush. Immigration, health care and off-shore drilling were important factors just weeks ago. And they remain so, but only as far as they affect the economy. Immigrants who take our jobs, oil that can fill our gas tanks, and health care to compensate for our meager pay checks encourage some to vote a certain way. Amidst all these issues, the question people are asking is: which candidate will do more for our faltering economy?

This is a legitimate question. Working class women and men, struggling to put gas in their car, buy their kids cereal and pay the mortgage on their house could use a boost. And a recession in the economy always affects the poor the most significantly. Whereas the wealthy trade in their SUV for a Hybrid, the poor are forced to move to a smaller apartment, buy cheap, fatty foods for their family, and take on a second job. So, when they’re already struggling, and gas prices go up yet again, I think they are right to wonder who will help our economy out. Will Barack or John get them a higher wage, their kids better education, and their families health care?

What concerns me, though, with the world struggling as it is, and with globalization giving us a connection to the rest of the world that we’ve never had, is when I hear middle to upper class Americans suggest we drill for oil off the coast of Alaska merely to give us some comfort for a few years until we figure out another option for energy. We, the most comfortable people in America, the wealthiest country in the world, ask for more comfort. That is, in my opinion, unjustifiable. This is especially troubling when I hear it from Christians. People who give their lives to a God who suffered. People who are told by that God to pick up their cross daily and to lose themselves. We Christians ought to be the first to suffer and to sacrifice for the sake of others. Instead we vote for candidates who care very little for the rest of the world, to ensure us that we might have comfort for a few years. The problem is not oil in Alaska (though I think there are better options). The problem is that wealthy, American Christians will not follow Christ into His suffering.

While our economy is important, and numerous domestic issues are worth our consideration when we head to the polls, it is time we Christians took more seriously the foreign policy of our presidential candidates. While the leader of a country has considerable responsibility to its own citizens, the President of the United States has a drastic amount of power and influence around the world. People in every country, of all social and economic classes, watch our elections because they know what we Americans easily disregard: that the person we elect is going to affect them. Palestinians and Israelis, Hindus in India and Muslims in Pakistan, farmers in South Africa and children in Iraq; they all know that the policies of the President of the United States can change their lives. It has. And it will continue to affect their economies, their conflicts, and their livelihoods. With this reality, we should be hearing U.S. Christians ask less about which candidate will make our lives more comfortable, and more about what the next president will do for them. For our neighbors. For the strangers. And for our enemies.

When people talk about comfort, I wonder, “What is comfort?” Where I live in Nepal, the price of gas has recently risen to 100 Nepali rupees a liter. That’s about $5.36 a gallon. In the poorest country in South Asia, citizens pay more than the average person in America pays for gas. And as we know, when the price of gas goes up, so does the price of all basic necessities. Rice, meat, fruit, vegetables, and water are all more expensive now than they were a few months ago. The Nepalis who have some buffer money cut out fruits and vegetables from their diets. Poorer cut out meat, and eat smaller portions of rice. The poorest take their kids out of school, starting with the girls, and put them to work. The really desperate families might even sell their children, perpetuating a lack of education among women, and the horrendous slave trade ever growing in Asia and around the world.

So, what is comfort? For a middle class American, is it being able to pay less for the gas in the boat? Is it enough extra cash to buy an iPod? I don’t want to overlook the real struggle that the working poor in the U.S. have. But I find it outrageous when a middle or upper class American suggests we drill for oil merely for a little comfort. Set aside for a moment the moral concern of continuing to rape the earth for our greed. Will drilling for oil in Alaska do a thing for that girl in Nepal who is about to be trafficked because her parents can’t pay for cooking gas? No. Because it is only about our comfort. It is always, in the end, about us.

Maybe it is too much to ask that the candidates suggest we all do a little sacrificing. If they ask us to tighten our belts, attempt to convince us that a few years of consuming less is what we need, and that we should be more concerned about farmers in Zimbabwe, they can wave the Presidency goodbye. Jimmy Carter did that in 1980. And he lost. But it is not too much to ask followers of Jesus to look beyond themselves, beyond their own comfort and ask themselves how their lives, how their consumption, and how their votes affect the rest of the world, the rest of God’s children.

I don’t anticipate a presidential election to have AIDS in Africa, slavery in Asia, corporate greed in the U.S., conflict in the Middle East, and the global rise of food prices at the top of the agenda. The important issues, I’m confident, will always be the U.S. economy, national security, and U.S. dominance. That’s understandable. The United States is, after all, a nation. But for Christians who are called to care for the poor, the refugee, the stranger, the hungry and the naked, the concern for our world and all its inhabitants ought to be at the top of our agenda. And for us Christians in a democracy, we have a role to demand it be a bit higher on our officials’ list of priorities. And if it is not on their agenda, we ought to be a voice against a country that ignores the suffering of others.

Bill Clinton won for a reason. The economy, stupid. With a struggling economy in 2008, I’m confident the economy will be the key factor as U.S. citizens head to the polls. While the economy remains an important issue, U.S. Christians should first do a little reflection on whose policies will positively impact, not just us, but the poor and suffering in our own cities and around the world. You and I might decide differently on which candidate’s policies show more concern for the poor. But if the conversation changes from who will make me more comfortable, to who is more concerned and will be more active on behalf of the suffering around the world, I think we’ll finally be getting somewhere.

Robbie, this is where your critique comes in.

care packages

2008-09-16T21:53:00.003-05:00

Occasionally, someone will ask if I want them to send them something from the U.S. and I usually draw a blank. Because contrary to what some may believe, I am not living in a hut in the middle of nowhere. Actually, Kathmandu is quite the urban area. So when I try and think of things from home, I think of Mountain Dew and Snickers, macaroni and cheese, and Pringles. All of which are available here. So, for those of you who are thinking, 'Andrew, I really want to send you a care package, but just have no idea what you want,' I've compiled a brief list of things that are not available here, but that would be lovely to receive. If, you know, you were planning to send something anyway...

Doritos
honey mustard pretzels
Cheez-its
swedish fish
chex mix
trail mix
starbucks coffee (our Nepali staff, especially Jyoti and Gautam, really love this)
granola bars
beef jerky (but be discreet about sending beef. just kidding, it's really not a problem to send)
magazines (i occasionally buy The Economist, Time or Newsweek here, but one friend sent a couple issues of Sojourners which was great. so if you have something like that...)
books
assorted candy

Okay. That's really all I could think of. So, all you other people living abroad, what do you like to receive from the states? I need some help expanding my list, because I know people are just dying to send me packages. Help me out.

Computers

2008-09-10T05:28:00.003-05:00

We'd like to buy computers for our girls at Karuna Ghar. We think being able to use a computer and type well is incredibly important in their educational process. I'm really excited about the opportunity to tutor these girls, starting in keyboarding, email, the internet, and hopefully moving on to things like excel and powerpoint. I look back at my keyboarding class in high school as one of the most important classes I've ever taken. I would love to see our girls have that opportunity. We've already had some money donated specifically for computers, but we'd like to have enough to buy 5 computers so that we can hold classes for all the older girls at one time. We need about $1000.oo to make it happen.

If you'd like to contribute to this, click here. At the bottom left side of the page click "DonateNow!" And while you're filling out the information, make sure you enter "I'd like to make this donation on behalf of: wmf nepal for computers." If you have any questions, ask away.

Darjeeling

2008-09-10T04:41:00.002-05:00

I'm back in Kathmandu. If you are wondering where I've been, do a little google search on Darjeeling. If you've seen the Darjeeling Limited, it's nothing like Darjeeling, except there is a train that goes through the city. I took a week of vacation to chill in this quaint Indian town filled with Nepali speakers, with my buddy Josiah. I left Kathmandu with a chest infection. My first night in Darjeeling that infection turned into non-specific pneumonitis (essentially pneumonia).

I spent the week sleeping, eating meals and drinking tea with Josiah, and reading The Brothers Karamazov (I've finished 350 of the 1000+ pages). I ventured out a couple times during my stay. One day Josiah and I wandered through the Darjeeling zoo. Having been to zoos in this part of the world before, I anticipated a cage with some snakes in it, maybe some nice gardens. Josiah and I were both pleasantly surprised to see an abundance of exotic animals, including red pandas, indian tigers, and snow leopards (yes Brook and Kara, they are vicious. I was confident they would tear me apart if they got the chance).

Another day we traveled down to the famous tea plantations of Darjeeling. We paid for an unimpressive tour of the factory, wandered through the tea bushes, and drank tea with a local shop owner who gave us quite the demonstration of '5 second tea.'

On the way home I parted ways with Josiah, who traveled on to Kolkata and then to his new home in London where he'll be studying geopolitics for the next year. I joined a couple of Scots who were taking the same route as me back to Kathmandu, and took a flight over the flooded fields (and roads) of Eastern Nepal, back to my home in Kathmandu.

I'm getting back into a rhythm here, spending time at Prem Ghar with the ammas and reconnecting with our community. Last night Liz, Calvin, and I joined a friend for a Ramadan feast. We didn't know what that would look like, but it involved joining a part of the small Muslim population at the Mosque for a post-sundown meal. Liz put on a sari, while Calvin and I sported the Muslim skull caps as we feasted on dates, bananas, potatoes, and an assortment of other foods. After spending a semester with Muslims in Egypt, I loved reconnecting with this population. In Nepal, most Muslims are from India, and being non-Hindu/Buddhist, are in many ways an oppressed minority. It was great sharing a meal with them during their holy month.

the hills are alive

2008-08-29T03:57:00.005-05:00

This past weekend I got out of the city and did a bit of hiking in the hills of Nepal. It was a needed break from Kathmandu. I experienced the beauty of Nepal with some good friends, Josiah, my roommate in Egypt, and Adam and Wendy, from my hometown, church, school...Minnetonka. Enjoy a few of the sites, provided by our faithful photographer, Josiah.

monsoon rivers

wendy, josiah

the annapurna range

terraced hills, rice patties

josiah, me, adam

the fish tail

so much green

September 2008 Prayer Letter

2008-08-28T05:45:00.002-05:00

This coming month's letter is a special one - a 6 month update. Oooh. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to post a pdf on this blog. So if you want to see it, and don't get the snail mail, let me know - either by sending me an email, a facebook message, or commenting on this blog. And I'll send it your way. At some point.

dreams and visions

2008-08-20T22:33:00.002-05:00

Read this previous post that suggests why the following story doesn't have to be far-fetched for us. Of course, I'm usually the skeptical one, but since I was involved, I believe it a little more readily.

This past week we spent praying for unity in our community and discernment for the days to come. We had prayer times that were loud, with lots of singing and shouting, times praying through art, and times of silence, listening for the voice of God in our lives. I led one of these times of contemplative, or silent prayer. For twenty minutes the elderly women and some of our staff sat quietly listening for God's voice, while I held Jyoti and Shiva's baby boy to keep him from distracting everyone. I came back at the end and asked if anyone wanted to share if they felt God speaking to them. After that was finished we closed in prayer and began having conversations among us. Jyoti soon told us that Donna Miya Amma spoke up after the prayer, "I saw something, can I say it?" After Jyoti affirmed that she is free to share, Donna Miya Amma said she saw an old man standing in Jyoti and Shiva's bedroom with a vessel. The vessel is supposed to be full of water, but only had a little in it.

Jyoti explained to Donna Miya Amma that sometimes our mind wanders if we're trying to pray quietly and listen to God. This is true, I thought. And as I said I'm usually the skeptical one. Then again, it was clear to me what this vision meant. I asked Jyoti to explain again what Donna Miya Amma had shared, giving myself a moment to build up courage to actually speak up. Then I said it: "Maybe Donna Miya Amma's mind was wandering during prayer. Or maybe God was speaking. But I think, Jyoti, that you are the vessel. You have given so much of yourself - to the ammas, to your kids, to your husband. And you are running out of water. If you don't find ways to replenish, and be filled up by God, you will run out, and will have nothing left to give."

I didn't know who the old dude was. But I figured whether this was from God or not (which I think it was), it was true about Jyoti, and worth saying. Calvin and I are working on ways to support her, give her the time she needs to rest and be filled up. We're also working on retreat options. So pray for Jyoti, that she can find the rest she needs and the rhythm in life that keeps her vessel from running out.

Flobots - Handlebars

2008-08-15T22:50:00.005-05:00

I saw this on Chris Heuertz's blog and loved it so thought i would pass it on. Chris has an explanation of it on his blog (see link on right side of page). It's worth watching more than once.

2008 Summer Reading Reflection Part II

2008-08-13T06:51:00.002-05:00

I've finished a few more books and figured it was time for some more reflections...

The Shack, by William P. Young
This book is quite the rage. It's the hottest thing in our Christian subculture since Blue Like Jazz. While I was reading it, I was surprised to see just how controversial this book had become. The blogosphere and Amazon.com reviews are full of Christians worried about this book leading people astray, towards faulty theology and even ideology. Some are even calling it a deception of the devil. Wow. Easy people. I actually think those claims are ridiculous. If you want to read a couple good, balanced reviews that appreciate the book and also address the theological problems, read those by Ben Witherington and Bob Hyatt.

My personal thoughts: Though the writing is pretty mediocre, it's not a work of the devil. There are some moments of beautiful truth given in simple, yet profound ways. These moments have the power to bring healing and transformation to people's lives (which is why it is so popular). If that's the case, I'm thankful for the book. I especially like the way that God chooses to reveal herself/himself: the Father as a large African woman, the Son as a Middle Eastern man, and the Spirit as a small, translucent Asian woman. I honestly don't understand why this is hard for some people. Set aside the whole Feminine Divine debate (for a moment), and it still makes sense to me. Obviously Jesus is Middle Eastern. As for the Father, as Mack (The Shack's protagonist) relates, we generally understand him to be an old, white man. Like Gandalf. For people to think God, who we've established is neither male nor female, would reveal himself as an old white man, but are uncomfortable with an African or Asian woman, who is just as much made in the image of God, seems to me narrow and prejudiced.

Simple Spirituality by Chris Heuertz
This book is by the International Executive Director of Word Made Flesh. Through stories of life among the poor, Chris draws truths of life that can lead us to a deeper walk with God - one that is connected to God's heart for the poor and God in the poor. To understand the ethos of Word Made Flesh, instead of reading the countless books we read, start with Chris'. Whether or not you're interested in Word Made Flesh, this is an important book for us, a people who are largely disconnected from the poor, suffering, and oppressed of the world. For more info, read reviews by The Other Journal and a Young Anabaptist Radical. Sorry, not much of a reflection. It's a quick read, though, so pick it up and join the conversation.

Fatalism and Development: Nepal's Struggle for Modernization by Dor Bahadur Bista
This is a book that, obviously, addresses the way the culture of fatalism hinders Nepal from Developing. This is a tough book, because it reveals the reality of this cultural element that perpetuates Western lack of faith in the Nepali people, continuing the reliance on westerners for handouts. If you'll look a few posts down you'll see I'm reading a book called Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire. It's brilliant. In it he asserts that there must be trust in the oppressed if there will ever be true liberation. In Nepal I struggle to find a real trust in the people, without the naivety that dismisses the reality of fatalism. I think my lack of trust in the Nepali people will continually hinder me in my any work I do to see them liberated and freed. I must learn to trust them, while acknowledging the power of fatalism is a real obstacle that needs to be destroyed. If you're interested in Nepal specifically, this is a helpful book. If not, there are probably better books on fatalism. And for that matter, development.

The Algebra of Infinite Justice by Arundhati Roy
This is a series of political essays by the Indian author of The God of Small Things. She rails against the Indian government for it's compliance, even participation, as corporate giants make billions of dollars as low caste Dalits and Adivasis suffer, especially through the building of earth-destroying dams. At first glance, this may not seem like a huge issue. But these dams have cause millions of people to be displaced without reparations. So they starve, or move to the already over-populated cities to live in slums.

Roy also takes America to task for it's foreign policy, which has successfully kept American values and prosperity alive within its borders by throwing out those values when dealing with other nations - by supporting brutal dictators while calling for democracy, by being the largest supplier of weapons in the world, by holding the largest stockpile of nuclear weapons, and by building up it's own corporations at any cost - especially the cost of the poor around the world. Roy is leftist, to be sure, but she is brilliant, and she is a voice that was needed, especially in the wake of 9/11 when we Americans believed we were in a battle of good vs. evil, and blindly followed our leaders into two wars, one about vengeance, the other about national interests. Both of which made terror a legitimate action that would actually evoke a response by the world, which non-violent resistance seems to do less and less (take the 1068 Tibetans that were just arrested in Kathmandu on Thursday that nobody seems to care about). Roy's voice and criticism, whether fully accurate or not (you judge), are needed - especially for America, for Russia, for China, and for India (all countries with power and dangerous nationalism). We all could use a little self-reflection.

A book that just jumped on my list is Subverting Global Myths by Vinoth Ramachandra, which The Other Journal reviewed. We'll see if I can get ahold of it here.

Week of Prayer

2008-08-13T04:47:00.003-05:00

Recently Silas and Kim West left the field. They had been serving among the poor in Nepal for the past ten years. Silas was the first WMF staff in Kathmandu and he returned to the U.S. with his wife Kim, and their four kids (three of whom were born in Nepal). After ten years of pouring into the people, they have left a community of incredible Nepali staff who continue the work they started. A home for girls and a home for elderly women continue to be places of hope, love and restoration even as the Wests have left.

The Wests are an incredible family, and their departure has left a hole in our community. With such a core part of our community gone, we find ourselves at a new crossroads. We begin a new chapter of WMF Nepal that we pray will honor the work of the Wests, and carry it on further. Today we have begun a week of prayer. We are praying for God's guidance for our community and for us as individuals. We want to know what God has next for us. And we are praying for unity as a community, as Nepalis, Americans, single, married, young girls, elderly women. We are praying for greater love for each other. Pray with us.

This morning I was at Prem Ghar, praying with beautiful elderly Nepali women, and this afternoon at Karuna Ghar with precious girls. It's with these families that I find joy and hope here in Nepal. As I have shared, my love for them continues to grow deeper. Again, pray for us as we submit ourselves to God.

it's a new day, things are gonna change

2008-08-07T22:58:00.004-05:00

Calvin and I took the plunge yesterday. We moved about an hour away from our office and Karuna Ghar (our home for girls) and moved right next door to Prem Ghar (our home for elderly women). It's going to be a big change. It's on the outskirts of the city. So instead of horns and dogs, I fell asleep to the sound of frogs and crickets performing their symphony. Instead of a 3 room apartment along with a dining room, kitchen, and two bathrooms, we've packed two desks, two beds, some shelves and a stove into one room, with a small squatty toilet across the hall. We had the room painted mushroom grey, because the mint ice cream colored paint came off whenever we touched it. This morning we read books on the small tempo for the 30 minute ride. Then walked another 30 minutes to our office (with a stop for tea and Nepali donuts on the way).

I'm excited to be away from the opportunity for being on the internet in my home. I'm excited to come to the office about two times a week and really get things done. I'm excited to support Jyoti and Miya who work entirely too hard. I'm excited to build relationships with Shiva, Jyoti and our neighbors. I'm excited to share a small room with Calvin and figure out how to get my alone time. I'm excited about being around people who won't speak as much English around me. And I'm excited to serve elderly women who have been abandoned in the final years of their lives. I must say I'm excited.

I think it will be tough at times. It will be slow and inconvenient, but I feel it is a step closer to the poorest of the poor, not only in lifestyle, but in relationship. And that is why I came.

August 2008 Prayer Letter

2008-08-05T07:29:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends,

A while back my friend (and roommate), Calvin, reflected on the Nepali custom of speaking to someone as if they are a member of your family. The terms dai (older brother) and bai (younger brother) are used when speaking to men. Didi (older sister) and bahini (younger sister) are spoken to women. I've even gotten into the habit of calling little girls nani and little boys babu, the affectionate terms for son and daughter. The elderly men, like my friend Gautam's father, we call bua (father). And the elderly women, amma, or mother. Calvin discovered that when using this language, it is a lot harder to ignore those in need. He would never, for instance, tell his mother he had no money he could give her.

As Calvin points to, speaking to each other with these terms reveals the truth: that we are family. As beloved children of God, we are deeply connected to each other. Though I have left my sister and brother, my mother and my father and moved to Nepal, I am learning that God is providing new sisters, brothers, fathers, and especially mothers.

Amma. Amma is the woman I talk with at the local Tibetan restaurant, as I eat Tibetan roti (pita bread) stuffed with buffalo meat. Amma is Jammuna, a WMF staff member at Karuna Ghar (Home of Compassion) who likes to joke that I am her chora (another term for son), though she is barely older than me. And amma is the woman at Prem Ghar (Home of Love), actually the seven women, who have been widowed, abandoned, and in their old age told they are not worth the time or expense of a quickening world.

Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. "When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, "Woman, here is your son,""and to the disciple, "Here is your mother." From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.
(John 19:25-27, TNIV)

Because of what we see as excesses of respect and honor to the mother of God, we Protestants have become afraid of Mary. I find it striking though, that Jesus doesn't just say, "take care of my mother." Instead he points to that truth that we are all connected, we are all family. Here is your mother. And to her he says, here is your son. If we can leave aside, for a moment, the debate about whether or not this means she is the mother of all of humanity, we might just catch the beauty in what Jesus says while he hangs on the cross. Here is your son. Here is your mother. What can John do to his mother, but take her into his home?

I love going to Prem Ghar because it brings me into life with elderly women, in whom I can see the sorrows and joys of life intermingled. The sorrows of living the life of one who is not only deeply impoverished, but is so as a woman in a country that constantly gives second class status to women, speaking degradation and dehumanization to them throughout their entire lives. And the joys of having lived a full life and at the end of their days find themselves in a community of love. I love going there because it is in those joys and sorrows that life is found. And I want to share that life with them. They are my mothers.

The upper floor of Prem Ghar is where two of my mothers hang out. Shakal Shoba Amma was carried in a basket for four days on her way to Prem Ghar. My heart jumps every time she calls me nani, her child (I've recently learned nani is not used exclusively for daughter. I assure you, my mother doesn't think I'm a girl). Ganni Amma was living at Swayambu, also known as the Monkey Temple, where she would beg for rupees before being taken to Prem Ghar. I can't make out a lot of what she says, but I do know when I hear babu. And I love it. I love being addressed with such affection from these precious women.

When I go to Prem Ghar and speak to my ammas, listen to them call me their son, their child, I cannot deny the true connection of our humanity, the truth that all of us are part of the family of God. Here is my mother. Here is my amma. I cannot walk away from my mother who is poor and suffering. And I why would I want to? It is with my mothers at Prem Ghar that I am caught up into the sufferings and joys of life. I share in theirs and begin to see my own. It is there, with my mothers, that I might just learn to drink the cup of Christ, filled with all of the sorrows and joys of life.

Thank you, friends, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, for all of your love and prayers. I pray that you too might look around and see your mother, your son, your daughter, your father, and that you would love your family well.

Peace to you,

andrew

solidarity

2008-08-02T01:19:00.004-05:00

... certain members of the oppressor class join the oppressed in their struggle for liberation, thus moving from one pole of the contradiction to the other. Theirs is a fundamental role, and has been so throughout the history of this struggle. It happens, however, that as they cease to be exploiters or indifferent spectators or simply the heirs of exploitation and move to the side of the exploited, they almost always bring with them the marks of their origin: their prejudices and their deformations, which include a lack of confidence in the people's ability to think, to want, and to know. Accordingly, these adherents to the people's cause constantly run the risk of falling into a type of generosity as malefic as that of the oppressors...because of their background they believe that they must be the executors of the transformation. They talk about the people, but they do not trust them; and trusting the people is the indispensable precondition for revolutionary change. A real humanist can be identified more by his trust in the people, which engages him in their struggle, than by a thousand actions in their favor without that trust.

- Paulo Freire, pedagogy of the oppressed, (New York: The Continuum International Publishing Group Inc, 2007) page 60.

Giardia

2008-08-01T05:58:00.002-05:00

Giardia lamblia (synonymous with Lamblia intestinalis and Giardia duodenalis) is a flagellated protozoan parasite that colonises and reproduces in the small intestine, causing giardiasis.
(Wikipedia)

This little guy is swimming around in my intestine. He got jealous of the cylcospora parasite that was there a few weeks ago and decided to join the party. Thankfully, I'm taking some medicine and on my way to recovery.

In other news, my camera card has died. I wasn't able to load all those pictures from Top's village. They're gone forever. And it will probably be a while before I post more pictures on here. We'll see what I can do.

Updates

2008-07-25T10:49:00.002-05:00

1. Prior to moving to Nepal the longest I've been outside of the U.S. was my four month semester abroad in the Middle East. I've been here five months.

2. I'm sick again. A little stomache sickness and allergies that can take me out for a day whenever they decide to get really nasty. I'm getting tired of being sick.

3. Aaron and Gretchen Merritt are in town. I've been their tour guide, taking them to the hottest sites of Kathmandu. You MCC people should be happy to know our Nepali staff have quickly fallen in love with them. Unfortunately, they're here only 4 days before leaving for the U.S. on Monday. It's great having a little piece of Minnesota here with me.

4. Nepal has a president. A Nepali Congress party member was elected. So the Maoists quit. It reminds me of when I was working at Kids & Company. I would often play Life (the Spongebob edition) with one of the first graders. Whenever he started to lose, he would quit. Nice work Maoists.

5. I've started taking Nepali classes at one of the universities here. It's pretty slow, but I'm finding it's some needed review for me.

6. My previous post might have had more comments than I've ever had. That's what I get when I stir the waters. Thanks for the comments. What I would really love is for the conversation to continue - somehow (whether it's on my blog or not doesn't really matter).

7. I've been hanging out more at Prem Ghar recently. Every time I go one of the ammas tells me I need to take her to the Monkey Temple (where she used to beg) so that she can pick up her two hundred thousand rupees (probably around 3000 USD). I wonder if it's really there??

8. I saw The Dark Knight tonight...and loved it!

9. A week ago I went with all the Karuna Ghar kids and several of our staff to the pool. Chances to swim in Nepal don't come too often. I was probably in the water only 20 minutes. But it was a refreshing 20 minutes.

10. It's monsoon season. And the road I walk on daily is ALWAYS muddy. Love it.

the can of worms

2008-07-22T10:52:00.003-05:00

I've gone and opened it haven't I? The Feminine Divine. What in the world? And why in the world? If you're clueless, check out my previous post - on the disconnectedness (or perception of disconnectedness) of humanity, and of creation in general. Afterward you still my wonder what in the world one means when they say 'feminine divine.' Honestly, I'm not the best person to ask. Because I don't know much. Sue Monk Kidd's book, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, though, has opened my eyes to Her, or at least the need to think and talk about Her.

Kidd suggests that because our world is ruled by patriarchy (an assumption I think is clear if you'll look around), women have been disconnected with the Feminine Divine and from their own feminine souls. This is the 'Feminine Wound' Kidd asserts is in every woman, whether they recognize it or not. In Nepal, this patriarchal system gives women a lower role in society. They work harder and receive less recognition, less compensation, and more abuse than men. Because women are more expendable, girls in poor families are the last to eat and the last to go to school, or they don't go at all. In some cases, they are sold into slavery, sent to another country where they are imprisoned and raped every day.

The Dance has helped me turn back to my own society and my own faith tradition to see the ways our own patriarchal society has wounded women. In the Church women have been kept from living out their gifts and talents, merely because they are women. Honestly, I don't understand it. I talk to Mamata and Rupa. Two brilliant, thoughtful, passionate Nepali women, who don't just talk about fighting the sex trade. They're doing it. And my tradition tells them they actually can't lead. They can't preach. They're actually not formed to teach and lead others, especially not men. Really? Thank God they don't live that way. Well, they can share. But they can't be senior pastor. Or an elder. Or a priest. Really?

So we get it. Men and women are actually equal. I'm willing to guess most people reading this blog lean towards the egalitarian (men and women are equal) perspective. You few complementarians (men and women are equal, but have separate roles) reading this, sorry to alienate you. I know you've got a lot of Biblical support for your view (as do egalitarians). But I just don't understand it when I think of keeping women like them from doing their work. Anyway, back to our agreement - men and women are equal. And our patriarchal world has done terrible things to women. But why all this feminine talk? Feminine soul? Feminine Divine? Feminine wound?

The reason is that our faith tradition has perpetuated the patriarchy that excludes women from understanding and connection with the divine. Our Christianity is filled with language that consistently excludes women. We speak of men, and brothers, and a masculine God. Even when reading 'God,' a supposedly genderless word, we think of a man - a Father. Our God is a man. Our religion has been developed by men for men. Early on in Christianity the debate was not whether women could preach or not. It was whether or not they had souls. And then, whether or not those souls could be saved. Though we've come a long way, we still live in a world where, whether said or merely understood, women are told they are not quite as good as men. And there comes the wound. And the disconnection with the divine. Thankfully, we have a God who is personal. That's why we call God Father. Kidd suggests, though, that the exclusive use of the term 'Father' has not only brought a disconnect between women and the Divine, but hindered all people from understanding God as Mother, or Goddess. Kidd is not asking for an exclusively female God. But she yearns for us to recapture the feminine aspects found in the divine, so that women can begin to reconnect with their own souls that for so long have been shunned by our patriarchal world.

There is only so much I can say about this. It's really not for me to say. For me to demand, as a man, that women recognize a wound in their life and connect with their feminine self seems a little ridiculous. I do think that any wound of women wounds us all. And as long as we dehumanize others, none of us will be fully human. So what I ask is for you women to speak up. I know you're out there. I've talked to you. You've started to explore this. To see how patriarchy has wounded you. Wounded all of us. You've started to embrace your feminine self. You've started to see God as both Father AND Mother. Your stories should be heard. I want to hear them.

If this is new for you, at least have the conversation. Listen to your friends who are exploring this. And read Kidd's book. I will note that as I've talked with others, and perused the blogs, many within the Christian community love this book, but also feel she goes (as one friend put it) 'a little off the deep end.' I'll let you decide for yourself. But those who have read it do feel it's an incredibly important and liberating book. It's opening my eyes, and I think, taking me deeper into the truth of God, who She is and who She is creating me to be. Why is that still so strange for me to write? I feel like such a heretic.

are we so disconnected?

2008-07-16T02:48:00.003-05:00

I'm a bit concerned about how we continue to embrace dualities in this world that I don't think are meant to be there. We have separated the spiritual and physical worlds. There are those who have suggested that this world, the physical, is all there is. In response to this materialistic view people (many Christians included) have suggested that what really matters is the soul, or the spirit. Thus came the Christian obsession with 'saving souls,' considering things of this world to be a distraction to the real goal of getting to heaven.

In The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, Sue Monk Kidd suggests panentheism as the middle road between the pantheistic focus on all is god and god is in all, and the theistic view that god is wholly other. She says panentheism takes us to a God who is in all, yet not encompassed by the world and all that is in it. NT Wright, in Simply Christian, suggests that panentheism does not go far enough in separating God from this world. He remarks, "to say God's Spirit is in a pet rabbit in the same sense that God's Spirit was in and with Jesus struck me (and still strikes me) as absurd." Instead he suggests that the coming of God's kingdom is the place where heaven and earth interact. God is separate, but heaven and earth kiss. They are not as separate as many of us have believed. Though I think I largely agree with Wright, Kidd's understanding of the interconnectedness, not only of all people, but of all of creation, might not only be true, but would change things in this world if we actually lived that way.

In Kidd's book (which requires a lot more attention than what i'll give here), she suggests that a large part of the problem is that we are controled by a patriarchal society that demands we view God as Father only. Though Christians might adamantly defend the truth that God is neither male nor female, but spirit. To think of the feminine in the divine at the least makes us uncomfortable, at the most is considered heresy. But when we believe that Goddess (see, uncomfortable right?) created men and women in her image, why is it that we don't embrace the feminine divine the way we do the masculine? (A lot of what Kidd says is unorthodox, and a lot that I am uncomfortable with, but I think we have a lot to learn from her and her story.)

Kidd suggests that not only do we need to embrace the feminine divine to heal the feminine wound in our world and in every woman (which is largely the focus of her book), but that it might just help us embrace those things that tend to be (though not exclusively) feminine - like an understanding of our interconnectedness, compassion, mercy. If these were embraced, we might care for God's creation a little more. We might kill, rape, steal and destroy a little less.

No matter what our politics (uh oh), I think we would think twice before fully supporting Bush's push for offshore drilling. Not only as a matter of pragmatism, the fact that the oil will run out in a couple decades anyway, so why are we delaying the inevitable instead of finding alternative energy sources? But, because we are connected, as God's creation with each other and with this earth. We will think twice before supporting attmepts to plunder the earth for all it's worth, if we, like St. Francis, see the animals, the sun and moon, the birds and fish as our brothers and sisters.

I know I'm getting off on a bit of a tangent, but if our faith and beliefs don't actually affect how we live and what we're for in this world, what good are they? And with that in mind, let me get to something that is really concerning me lately- nuclear weapons.

Really? Do we really think they're a good idea? To have weapons that can destroy every thing on this earth? Honestly, I'm tired of the U.S. dictating to the world who can and can't have nuclear weapons. As if we have the moral ground to keep the largest stockpile of nuclear weapons in the world and tell others they cannot explore that technology. India, okay. Iran, nope. North Korea, I don't think so. But us? Oh, don't you worry about us. We're the righteous. We'll take care of everything. Arundhati Roy (a brilliant writer, by the way) puts it beautifully in her essay, "the end of imagination" (compiled with other essays in "the algebra of infinite justice):

The nuclear bomb is the most anti-democratic, anti-national, anti-human, outright evil thing that man has ever made. If you are religious, then remember that this bomb is Man's challenge to God. It's worded quite simply: We have the power to destroy everything that You have created. If you're not (religious), then look at it this way. This world of ours is 4,600 million years old. It could end in an afternoon.

These things, nuclear weapons, the willingness to plunder the earth without thought of the consequences to us, to this world or to future generations, are symptoms, I think, of the failure to see ourselves as physical AND spiritual beings that are deeply connected with all of creation. Whether it is "eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die," or "i'm going to heaven so what happens to this world doesn't really matter" we miss the truth of our connectedness as God's children and as God's creation. We forget that heaven kisses earth. Maybe an embrace of the feminine divine will lead us there. Whatever the case, this world needs us to believe we are deeply connected, or it will continue to go on groaning as we continue to destroy it.

peri betoula

2008-07-11T02:36:00.003-05:00

Peri betoula means 'see you again.' I said that to Indira, my language tutor, today as I left her home. It was my last class with Indira, before I start attending language school at the university next week. Indira and I guessed that in the five months i've been here, I've probably been to about 3 months worth of classes - what with me getting acute bacterial diarrhea (twice) and cyclospora, along with the time it took to get over jet lag, the week in kolkata, and the two weeks in dang with my friend Top and his family.

You should be happy to know that after those 3 months, Indira spent much time praising me. Now, Indira is generally an affirming person. But she told me she was so happy to see how much I have learned, how well i know many of the different structures and vocabulary, and how it is starting to come naturally for me. She did a good job of boosting my ego. Though some days are frustrating, when I feel I can speak only the basics, it's good for me to reflect on how much I have learned in the past 5 months. I have so far to go in Nepali language acquisition, but I'm doing pretty well.

This semester of language will largely be review, but I think will be a really good time to solidify what I know and to bring it to a level of natural communication. And when I return to Indira in October (which I'll have off from school for the Dasain holiday), I hope she'll be impressed with not just my knowledge of the words and structure, but especially the flow. The flow is where I need work. I know a lot, but I need to get to a point where it is coming almost naturally. That will take a lot of work, and a lot of practice with Nepali friends. But it's worth it. It's all worth it.

2008 Summer Reading Reflection Part I

2008-07-10T05:04:00.002-05:00

There are many books on my shelf, awaiting the day I'll pick them up and digest all that they hold. I've finished a few reads and thought I'd tell you a bit about them. The 'Part I' obviously indicates that later this summer I'll be sharing some more thoughts.

Announcing the Reign of God: Evangelization and the Subversive Memory of Jesus by Mortimer Arias.

This is a great book for understanding the theology of the gospel. It confronts the idea that the good news of Jesus is that when I die I can go to heaven. Rather, the gospel is, clearly, announcing the reign of God. That is, God's kingdom is here in part, and will one day come in full. And for many reasons, that is good, good news. While reading this, one of my friends told me she thought it wasn't really anything new, but that Christian writers have been saying these things since the days of Jesus. I agree with her, but do believe this understanding of the gospel has sadly largely been lost in our evangelical context. This is not true all around, and seems to be changing, but evangelical Christians on the whole need to see the gospel in light of this truth, as opposed to the individualized, consumer-based, gospel that only cares about 'saving souls.'

I appreciate Arias' critique because it doesn't only confront this error in our theology, but every different strand of theology that narrows the gospel to merely one characteristic of what it should be:

"What has happened is that we have reduced the reign of God to one of its aspects, and we have taken this part for the whole...

"Sometimes, like some church fathers in the Middle Ages, we have reduced the kingdom to a transcendant sphere outside the realitis of this world and the struggles of history. At other times we have reduced the kingdom to the insititutional and visible kingdom of the church. At still other times we have recovered the apocalyptic facet of the kingdom and preached a catastrophic end of this world with an imminent second coming. Or we have taken refuge in a reduced kingdom of our inner experience of salvation or the baptism of the Holy Spirit, without any reference to Christ's lordship over the totality of life or to the social and cosmic dimensions of the kingdom of God. Or we have reduced the eschatological kingdom announced by Jesus Christ to a historical kingdom identified with a particular scheme of revolution or social order. And all the time we have identified our reduction of the kingdom with the whole at the cost of the other dimensions." (66-67)

The City of Joy by Dominique Lapierre

This is a big book, but an easy and captivating read. Let me just say, I. Loved. This. Book. It immediately went to my top five must read books. Lapierre weaves together the story of two men from different worlds. One a Bengali man who, because of drought and famine, moves with his family to Kolkata looking for work. The other, a Polish Catholic Priests who follows Jesus call on his life to live among the world's poorest, in a slum in Kolkata. I was incredibly challenged by the priest who chose not only to help the poor, but to be poor with them. Chris Heuertz recently reflected on this book. He says it better than I could.

The New Christians: Dispatches from the Emergent Frontier by Tony Jones

A lot of buzz has been going around about the Emergent Movement/Conversation/Church that is popping up around the US, and as Tony suggests, around the world. For those who are confused about what Emergent actually is, I think Jones' book is a good primer. It shares the story of how Emergent emerged, what (in general) characterizes an Emergent theology, and addresses some of the criticisms and especially worries of the Emergent Movement. Tony acknowledges that he is missing some of the story. That there are other strands of Christianity growing in our world. There are the New Monastics like Shane Claiborne and the Simple Way (WMF is more connected to this group). There are Emerging Women within Christianity. And as Soong Chan Rah has criticized, the average Christian today is not white, is not male, is not rich, and is not educated (I remember a statement like this when I saw him speak at Taylor University a few years ago). The emerging Christians in America, Rah suggests, will be largely latino or asian immigrants, african or asian americans.

I do agree with Rah. But I also believe that the Emergent Movement, as Jones describes it, is significant and as he says, "love it or hate it, it can't be ignored." (XIX) I wouldn't classify myself as within Emergent, but I have appreciated their voice, as one who has become frustrated, even disillusioned with the American Conservative Evangelical subculture. That voice over the past few years has encouraged, rather than denied, my questions. It has affirmed to me the truth that maybe we (I) don't have it all figured out. Maybe our Christianity is rooted in enlightenment philosophy and modern thought, more than the actual message of Jesus. Maybe we have a lot more to learn than what we thought. And maybe it is not just the method that needs changing. Maybe it is the message itself. Maybe we don't understand the gospel correctly, or at least fully. These questions and frustrations are not cause for concern within Emergent, but rather embraced as we seek truth, and the way forward, the way of Jesus. I appreciate that. And I appreciated the book.

A Study of the Evangelical Debate on Women in Ministry: How Local Church Leaders Can Constructively Navigate the Issue in their Congregation by David Landt

This is actually my pastor's thesis that I requested he send to me. Being in Nepal, the subjection of women is much more blatant. Women are trafficked to India for sex. And in the home they are seen as worth less than men. In poor families, women are the last to be fed, the last to be educated and the last to get attention for health concerns. Even my language instructor, who works incredibly hard for her family, does not think it her place to consider a vacation, or ever doing anything for herself. It is her husband who gets to relax.

And then I see the lowering of the status of women in my own culture, in my own faith tradition. How do we navigate a way forward when people on both sides claim they have the right interpretation of the Bible and choosing another path means going against God's intent for women (and men)?

Landt does a good job of navigating that, and addressing, on both sides, where our assumptions and values come from, whether from greek philosophy on the right or enlightenment on the left. He challenges the lowered status of women (and especially keeping them from using their God-given gifts) in complementarian understandings, and the individualized, rights-driven claims of egalitarians. His way forward is found in oneness. This is seen in the oneness of God in the trinity, and should be carried out in the oneness of humanity, the body of Christ, and in a marriage relationship. There is incredible depth to Landt's study and his development of the understanding of oneness. He worked through it a couple years ago in a sermon series that I'm currently listening to. I would recommend taking the time to listen to those sermons (they start October 30, 2006).

Stay tuned for 2008 Summer Reading Reflection Part II. I'm currently reading Bitter Chocolate: Child Sexual Abuse in India by Pinki Virani, Survival or Prophecy: The Letters of Thomas Merton and Jean Leclercq, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine by Sue Monk Kidd. And Fatalism and Development: Nepal's Struggle for Modernization, by Dor Bahadur Bista. Get excited.

Also on my reading list: On Job: God-Talk and the Suffering of the Innocent by Gustavo Gutierrez, Simple Spirituality: Learning to See God in a Broken World by Chris Heuertz, Sacred Rhythms: Finding a Peaceful Pace in a Hectic World by Christine Sine, Not For Sale: The Return of the Global Slave Trade and How We Can Fight It by David Batstone, The Shack by William P. Young, and Exclusion & Embrace: A Theological Exploration of Identity, Otherness, and Reconciliation by Miroslav Volf.

We'll see how long that list takes me. Because there are many more after that.

July 2008 Prayer Letter

2008-07-01T05:44:00.001-05:00

Dear friends,

I knew when I left for Nepal that I was not just going to enlighten the Nepali people, but that they would likely teach me more than I have to offer them. As I continue learning the language and building relationships with Nepalis, I find them teaching me a great deal already. My understanding of hospitality has gone much deeper through time spent with my Nepali friends. Like many places around the world, I find the hospitality I experience puts our hospitality in the U.S. to shame (except my mom's; she doesn't let a visitor leave her home uncared-for).

The other day several of us rented motorcycles and made our way to the rolling hills that surround the Kathmandu valley. We stopped at the botanical gardens, bought a couple snacks and sat down to enjoy the surroundings, far from the pollution of our beloved city. Not long after we had finished a bag of chips and a bottle of coke, a large family sat down next to us. Soon we had struck up a conversation, using our growing vocabulary to exchange pleasantries. And then the mother of the family told us we would be sharing their food. She handed me a bottle of water, told me to wash my hands and get ready to eat. We politely refused and told her we had better get going. She said, "Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit. You can leave after you eat." She would not allow us to leave without a meal. So, we sat back down and enjoyed the meal of beaten rice, potato curry, and other side dishes, along with big bottles of beer (for those not driving, of course). The incredible hospitality of these strangers amazed us, as we agreed that this would never happen where we came from.

I think what is most striking about the hospitality of this people is that it tends to be even greater among those who have less material wealth. I spontaneously decided to accompany my friend and coworker, Top, and his family to the village he grew up in. About a 12 hour bus ride away from Kathmandu, I found myself sitting in a mud hut, eating bananas off the tree and rabbits killed by children with sling shots earlier in the day. But I was not sitting on the floor. That would be unacceptable. The guest always receives something to sit on, whether it is a stool or a thin mat. During meals I would politely refuse their persistent attempts to pile my plate high with rice. And if I wasn't careful, grandma would pile it on despite my common reply, "pugyo" ("enough"). When going to the bathroom in the forest, bathing in the stream, or washing my clothes, I was consistently asked if I had everything I needed, or if I needed any help. One time, on my way to bed, Top asked if he and his wife, Shakuntale, should also come to bed. No one would want the guest to have to go to bed by himself while others stayed up to talk. This, though, I adamantly refused. And when I was sick with a fever one night, I found Nepalis surrounding my bed eager to care for me, or just be there to show love and act if a need arises.

To the American perspective, this kind of hospitality can seem a bit overboard, even ridiculous. Believe me, I found it a struggle at times to accept this hospitality. Though I am not calling for us to take on this intense style of hospitality, I do think we can learn a great deal from it. We can learn to better welcome our guests, and better care for the stranger. If we practiced a better hospitality, maybe we wouldn't be so suspicious if a stranger offered us a meal. Maybe we would find ourselves better connected with those around us. In our country where loneliness, depression, and suicide have soaring rates, a think a little more hospitality can go a long way.

Thank you friends, for continuing to walk and learn with me. Thank you for your support and prayers as I continue to build a home here, learn the language and grow into the role God has for me here. Please continue praying for our community as we seek God's guidance in the days to come.

peace and love,

Andrew J. Ulasich

June 2008 Prayer Letter

2008-06-24T02:18:00.002-05:00

Dear Friends,

While biking home from language class the other day, I was listening to Donald Miller speak about story. He talked about our lives as stories that we are writing, and suggested that the best stories, like in books or movies, include a protagonist who risks losing her/his life. In the best stories, there is significant conflict and a laying down of one’s life. They are not about, as Miller asserts, a relentless pursuit of a Volvo. Of course, Volvos aren’t bad, but you wouldn’t make a movie about that. Nor would you be interested in a movie that was about living with as much security and comfort as we can provide for ourselves.

I think that God is writing a story for our lives, and it isn’t about getting as comfortable as we can. It’s about following Jesus to the cross and laying down our lives. But the choices we make define the stories of our lives, and determine whether we will follow God’s story line. The choice can be as big as what you will give your life to (Volvos or the Kingdom of God), or as small (yet still significant) as how you treat your wife, speak to your husband or care for your children. These choices are a part of our stories and they will remain in our stories and affect the stories of those around us.

I am now four months into my time in Nepal, and I feel as if the story for my life, and specifically for the next three years is slowly taking shape. The steps I take, the choices I make are leading me forward and building the setting in which this story will take place - into the conflict, and hopefully the resolution that will occur as I progress in my story.

I know, I’m all about thoughts and ideas. So, what does this look like? It looks like learning the Nepali language as I commit to relationship with Nepalis, speaking to them in their heart language. It looks like spending time with Nepali friends, eating meals and building relationships. It looks like sitting with the girls at Karuna Ghar and the women of Prem Ghar. These are the foundations that I am building upon. They are a part of my story and they are setting up the climax to come.

There is another way that I see my story taking shape. Besides the relationships that we enter into here in Nepal, I will also be gradually taking on a community support role, specifically joining my friend Brook as a field advocate. This means many things, but includes researching, studying and writing on behalf of my friends. It means amplifying the voices of the poor and oppressed, the marginalized and enslaved, and connecting them and their stories with the Church (including many of you). This role will also (I pray) include local advocacy, which essentially requires building relationships with other local organizations and the local church. Our hope is to encourage the local church to respond to the poverty and injustices in our own communities, and seek God’s restoration amidst the evil that is all around us.

So pray for us, and the stories that are taking shape. Pray for those foundations of language and relationships, as I learn to take things slow and trust in God. And pray for the new roles and initiatives I am stepping into, that they would be developed in the context of relationship, and remain under God’s vision for our community here in Nepal. And send me an email, letting me know how your story is being developed, and how I can pray for you too.

Thank you for being a part of my story, and allowing me to be a part of yours. I pray that we can help each other live really good stories as we follow the story line God has written for us.

peace to you,

Andrew J. Ulasich

Strike! Strike! Strike!

2008-06-23T07:01:00.003-05:00

A had a request from Julia to share about the 'feeling on the ground' following the changes in government. If you didn't know, Nepal had a King. Emphasis on 'had.' In April Nepal held elections for its Constituent Assembly (CA), of which the Maoist party won a majority of seats. The Constituent Assembly recently met and declared Nepal a Republic. The Monarchy has been abolished (though some Supreme Court Justices are denying the validity of the vote, since 26 seats in the CA have yet to be filled), and the palace in Kathmandu will soon be a museum.

There was some question as to how the Hindu extremists would respond to the abolition of the only remaining Hindu Kingdom, or if the Gorkha army (which I understand to have been loyal to the King) would fight against the Maoists. This, though, didn't seem to be a significant concern. For a while here, things have been pretty much life as usual. The past week, though, has seen some significant turmoil.

If you haven't figured it out, Nepalis like to protest. They may be significant or insignificant matters (see Silas's recent post), but they'll block the road and burn a few tires. Sometimes they get violent. Saturday, Calvin and I were walking down the road, hoping to catch a tempo (a small, 3 wheel public transport vehicle that comfortably holds 8, but sometimes 10 or 12) on our way to Mass. We saw a bunch of guys trying to keep a taxi from passing. After letting him go, they walked in front of us to the main road to join a bunch of other angry young men, protesting, I assume, the hike in fuel prices. The problem is, for years Nepal has been subsidizing fuel to make it cheap for its people, effectively putting them in a lot of debt to India who ships oil to its small neighbor to the North. So, in order to actually receive shipments of fuel, Nepal has to raise gas prices. And they did. From 80 to 100 rupees a liter ($5.49 a gallon). Let me say that again. $5.49 for a gallon of gas. Not in America. In Nepal. The 48th (so I read) economically impoverished country in the world ... And as we know in America, when gas prices go up - so does everything else - food, water, transportation, cost of cooking, etc. So, people are upset. Unfortunately, the price should actually be higher if Nepal wants to get out of debt.

So they strike. Taxi drivers, MicroBus drivers, students. Who doesn't get involved? Tires burn. Roads are blocked. Bricks are thrown. Back to our morning walk to Church... We get to the main road and see a mob of young men running towards a taxi that is trying to quickly sneak by. The mob surrounds the taxi and keeps it from proceeding. And then a brick is thrown and breaks, shattering the back window of the taxi. Calvin and I kept walking when from out of the mob, one man tries to escape a barrage of punches from others. He starts running for his life as an angry mob chases him, catches him, and continues to bloody him up with their fists. Calvin and I turn to each other and quickly list the options. 1. Walk away. 2. Passively watch like the rest of the people around. 3. Walk into the middle of the mob, pray for our safety and attempt to save this man. Do we really have a choice. We soon found ourselves walking quickly into the mob. Having no idea what to do or say, we pushed ourselves in, and in Nepali attempted a few "stop" or, "it's finished." I also tried asking, "why," appealing to a little self-analysis, hoping they might wonder, "why am I doing this?" All to no avail. It seemed they didn't really care what we had to say. They pulled him away and we followed, in case they intended to continue. Soon, though, the police arrive and put the bloodied man in a police van. The man was bloodied, but it didn't seem his life was in danger. I do know, though, that these things can escalate, and an angry mob could kill someone pretty quickly. We assumed it had been the taxi driver, but when we asked, they told us he had thrown the brick. At least that's what we understood. It was confusing, because generally brick-throwing is an acceptable strategy among angry mobs. Apparently, though, the taxi driver and his friends didn't appreciate the broken window. We walked away, frustrated at our helplessness.

Calvin noted as we continued walking that this is the life of the Nepali. Helpless. The country falls apart around them and a combination of fatalism and a real inability to make life better keeps them feeling like nothing can be done. That is why ke garne?, or what to do?, is one of the most common phrases for a Nepali.

Students continue to protest. Transporters have called an indefinite transport strike. If the supply of fuel from India does not improve, which would require keeping gas prices where they are or raising them again, the petroleum suppliers may strike. (By the way, Tibetans continue to be arrested by the hundreds every day for their non-violent protests) And to top it off, the Maoists have pulled out of the government. They claim the current prime minister, who is allegedly demanding to be named president (because the Maoist leader, Prachanda will of course be Prime Minister), should give up his power, acknowledging that the Maoists have won a majority of seats in the CA.

Strikes, riots and crumbling of government is a cause for concern. But they are not new. In the fast several years, Nepal has experienced countless strikes, and many tense political situations that inevitably are quietly diffused as the necessary parties are appeased. Still, we are aware of the dangers. We follow the news and know the dangerous places. And we stay connected with our Embassy, which is pretty good about letting us know potential dangers and even holds period meetings during intense political and social turmoil, to discuss general safety protocol, and, if ever necessary, evacauation of American citizens. We're not at this point, and I don't think we've actually received an email from the Embassy in the last couple weeks. Things can change quickly. They can escalate and create a bit of anxiety. And just as quickly (and usually the case), they are diffused and Nepalis go on attempting to live their lives and provide for their families. This is life in Kathmandu. We never know what is next.

I'll try to keep you updated. Hope that was satisfactory Julia.

Sari Bari Items Going Fast

2008-06-17T05:57:00.002-05:00

Sarah just announced that a new shipment of Sari Bari blankets and purses have arrived in the states. They're sold within a matter of hours, so if you're interested, read the details on Sarah's blog... They're great, as my sister and her kids can affirm. Right Jeannine? So, go spend some money.

Cyclospora

2008-06-16T06:20:00.002-05:00

"Cyclospora season starts each year in May and peaks in June and July. The risk of infection decreases from August until the organism disappears altogether in November. Formerly known as "blue-green algae," it is a protozoan parasite that infects the upper intestine causing profound fatigue, loss of appetite, and diarrhea....Untreated, the infection can last from two to twelve weeks....

"...7-11% of all expatriates living in Kathmandu during this season are affected each year. The risk is highest among new foreign residents..." (The CIWIC Clinic Health News, June 2006)

Thanks to CIWIC and a little something called Bactrim, the little parasite in my intestine will be gone for good in a matter of days.

Life by the Spirit

2008-06-15T07:13:00.003-05:00

Thoughts continual to swirl around in my head...difficult thoughts about how to respond to the world's darkness, injustice, pain and poverty, in how I live, how I write, how I spend my money, etc. The other day I was on my way to pick up some friends from the airport, when we passed a crowd of Tibetans, peacefully protesting, asking the international community to stand beside them. An almost daily occurrence, those protesting, too, were arrested. There was a time in our country when non-violent protesters were arrested - we called it the Civil Rights Movement. Here they're thrown in jail for a few days and then released (frustrating China, who wishes Nepal would keep them in jail longer...for non-violent protesting). How do we respond to injustices like these. My inclination is to join them, to stand with them, even go to jail with them. Then the rationale comes - you'd probably be deported. Which may be true. So what do I do? What do I do about this, or Burma, or Sudan, or child sexual abuse, or human trafficking, or AIDS, or torture, or weapons of mass destruction (in the United States)? I know I have asked these questions before, but I have more thoughts on this, as well as more thoughts on my earlier post about how much money I should be spending in relation to my friends with so little. It's all related.

While in Top's village, I read The City of Joy, by Dominique Lapierre. I was impressed by one of the protagonists, Stephan Kovalski, a Catholic Priest who goes to live with the poorest in a Kolkata slum. He seeks solidarity to the extreme, eating what (and as little) as they eat, causing him to become sick and emaciated. He refuses the services of Western clinics when he is on his deathbed, knowing that not a single one of his neighbors would be able to be treated if they were in his place. In Word Made Flesh (WMF), Kovalski could be treated as one of our saints. He is not talked about as much as Mother Teresa or St. Francis of Assisi, but his deep (as far as possible) solidarity with the poor embodies the ideal of 'Serving Jesus among the poorest of the poor,' WMF's motto. Though WMF does not require a vow of poverty, there is a strong commitment, which I appreciate, to simplicity and solidarity with the poor. To become poor as Jesus became poor for our sake.

I deeply appreciate Kovalski's commitment to be poor among the poor, especially when I look to my own response when I get sick...go to a Western clinic and pay 80 dollars to get well. I want to learn from Kovalski, for there is beauty in his way of life. As Mother Teresa said to Kovalski, "They give us so much more than we give them" (The City of Joy, Lapierre). And amidst the depths of despair, we see God's goodness. We see Jesus.

As I think about it more, I wonder if there is potential for legalism in requiring someone (including oneself) to live as Kovalski did. I understand it. And I am drawn to it. Because this kind of legalism is rooted in a fear of something that is real and has gripped the West - a greed and selfishness that not only separates us from the poorest (where Jesus is), but leads us to completely ignore the pain and suffering of the world. So, in an effort to keep the sinful nature at bay, we move to legalism. Even my fear in writing this is that it will give us an excuse - "well, we don't want to be legalistic, do we?" and so we allow extravagance and luxury to abound in our lives, forgetting the poor and oppressed.

But, I want to suggest a third way. It is a way that leads through the pulling extremes of legalism and sinfulness (and with sinfulness, please also read the sinfulness of greed, selfishness, and the sinfulness of systems that are so prevalent in our society) that affect all aspects of our lives. From economic systems - legalistic communism versus selfish and greedy capitalism - to the debate about alcohol - abstaining versus drunkenness. There is another way that leads us through these tempting extremes. And the Apostle Paul would call it "living by the Spirit." "So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature" (Galatians 5:16).

Though I have been wondering what this means for some time, I still feel I am at the beginning of a journey of finding out what it means to live by the Spirit of God. To be led not by legalistic rules or my sinful nature, but by the Spirit. I believe there is a key, hidden to many of us, in living by the Spirit. If we find how to live this way (and I believe there are different paths for living by the Spirit - we wouldn't want to make legalistic rules for how to do so, would we?), and if we are in tune with God, we may be able to live much more beautiful lives. Lives that are lead by the Spirit to discern how to respond to conflict in Israel, or your friends' divorce. I don't mean there will always be easy answers. It will be hard. Really hard. But I believe there is a way of life, rooted in a relationship with God, that leads us through those hard situations.

And as we live this way, we must be submissive and obedient. Because it's possible that God will ask us to sell all our possessions and give to the poor, or live as the poorest in the way Kovalski did, or in the way of Mother Teresa who thanked God when she was sick for the opportunity to share in Christs' sufferings. And if we do live this way, I do actually believe that God will ask us to live more simply than we do, or than most of our Western neighbors and coworkers, because we have a sickness in the West that has stolen us away from the place where God's heart is, where Jesus is - and that is with the poor, suffering, and oppressed. And we must return there. But it will not be a legalistic set of rules. It will look differently for all of us. And I assure you, it will look differently than the way many of us currently live, and from those around us who continue in extreme, selfish individualism.

I am with all of you in the West. Though I have given up some, like friends and family, to be in Kathmandu, I haven't found this 'life by the Spirit.' At least, not in a way as deep as I would like. I'm searching. I know many who stay in America who are further on this road than I am. But I think this is the road to walk. So, let's make this a conversation. Let's walk together on this road, even if our paths separate periodically. Because I am as lost as anyone, and need your voice, your wisdom, your suggestions, and your presence. I need you with me to discover this life by the Spirit. I believe it is together that we learn to live in a way that produces fruit...fruit like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control. And fruit like restored relationships, freedom and new life.

Life in the Village

2008-06-10T08:10:00.005-05:00

I'm back! Aren't you excited?? Assuming I don't take any more spontaneous village retreats soon, the blog should be flowing with posts. As you may know I spent the past couple weeks in the village that my friend and coworker, Top, grew up in, before spending years working in Oman, Tibet, and then returning to Nepal and joining our staff. Top and I, along with Top's wife and baby boarded an early morning micro-bus and spent the next 12 hours snacking on ramen noodles, reading and occasionally conversing over the obnoxious horns and blaring Nepali music.

After the drive and a 30 minute walk we arrived in his village in the evening where we quickly ate (of course) daal bhat and retired to the mosquito-net covered bed, protecting us from cockroaches, giant spiders, countless flies and, clearly, mosquitoes. The following day we repacked our bags and hiked to his brothers house. We spent the whole day trekking up the hill, with frequent breaks for rest and an extended break to wash our clothes and bathe in the stream. Arriving in the evening, we again ate daal bhat and quickly went to sleep.

We spent our days overlooking the beautiful Dang valley, eating exotic fruits and vegetables, and being surprised by boys bringing back rabbits for dinner - rabbits they had killed with their sling shots. I worked on my Nepali skills, which was incredibly difficult. I believe this was the case first, because i have a long way to go in developing and understanding Nepali. I feel at this point that I know a great deal (like I could do well on a test), but have a hard time understanding and communicating. And second, because the accents were extremely (and frustratingly) different from those in Kathmandu. So, it was a good place to practice my Nepali without having native or fluent English speakers to rely on. Of course, this was tiring, so I would consistently retreat to my mosquito net to read The City of Joy (which I loved), write, or play countless games of Skip-bo with Top, Shakuntale and one of Top's 5 brothers.

I thoroughly enjoyed the time of rest, of building my relationship with Top and his family, and of struggling in my Nepali and realizing how much work I still need to put into acquiring this difficult language. And though I didn't really get used to the endless stares that said (what is this whitey doing out here?), I found myself impressively used to eating with my right hand, wiping with my left (in the forest), and various other important Nepali cultural necessities.

I had a lot of time to think out there, and at least two good blog posts that ought to be coming this week as a result of those thoughts, along with subsequent conversations with inspiring and thoughtful friends. See you soon.

Back in a few

2008-05-26T11:52:00.002-05:00

I'll be MIA for the next couple weeks. I decided to go with my friend, Top, to his village which happens to be far from Kathmandu, and I assume any internet options. It's probably for the best. Your google reader could use a break from my blog showing up there. Besides, I'm sure there will be plenty to write about upon my return. Until then...peace.

digging deeper, part 5 - haunting thoughts

2008-05-21T05:28:00.005-05:00

As I read the news or walk the streets of Kathmandu, there are a couple thoughts that continually come to mind. They haunt me, make me question the way I'm living, what is important to me, and leave me wondering how to act.

The first one comes from Hotel Rwanda. Most have probably seen this film that is similar to Schindler's List in it's telling of one person who risked his life to save people from a genocide. I've blogged about it in the past, but one line plays over and over in my head. Paul (the hotel manager who is praised for saving several hundred Tutsi and moderate Hutu Rwandans from death) sees footage that an American journalist has taken of people brutally murdering others with machetes. Paul is overwhelmed, but thankful, suggesting that now with this proof, the world can not sit by. The journalist, hesitantly gives his opinion of how the world will respond: "I think if people see this footage, they'll say Oh, my God, that's horrible. And then they'll go on eating their dinners."

I understand that the vastness of things like genocide in Rwanda (or now Darfur), the cyclone in Burma (and the Junta's outrageous resistance of foreign aid), the earthquake in China, oppression of Palestinians or Tibetans, human trafficking, the AIDS epidemic, the global food crisis, and environmental destruction is debilitating. I feel it too. What can I do? How do I respond? Especially when we have our own problems. Our friends are getting divorced, there are homeless in our own cities, we struggle with depression, and our children are getting into drugs, or struggling in school. But, will we let that stop us? When I read about these things, I think about eating my dinner. I don't want to go back to eating my dinner. I don't want to eat my dinner at all when the world is starving.

When I walk down the street and pass boys huffing glue, talk to girls selling purses at night and pray for their protection from predators, see a man with leprosy extend his fingerless hand for money, or think about any of the above injustices, I honestly get upset with God. Where are you? Where is this restoration you speak of? Where is the freedom? Why don't you feed them? Why don't you heal them? We could use more restoration. If you're in the process of making all things new, why so slowly? Could you hurry it up a bit? Or a quick plea, 'Lord Jesus, come quickly,' and finish what you've started.

It's about that time that a thought passes through my mind: "You give them something to eat." Jesus said this a while back to his disciples. Jesus has compassion on a big crowd of people (over 5,000). He was looking for a solitary place, but decided to stay with the people and heal their sick. His disciples suggest that Jesus send the crowds away from the rural area they are in so that they can find food. Jesus, of course, responds, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat." (Matthew 14:16) The disciples are bit shocked and wonder how they can feed so many people, with five loaves of bread and two fish. Jesus takes the bread, thanks God for it, breaks it and gives it to the disciples to pass out to all the people. And, miraculously, they have food leftover when all the stomachs are full.

I am like the disciples. I wonder: What can I do with a meager salary (meager, compared to most people in America, but not here in Nepal)? Who do I feed? Everyone? I need to eat too, right? Jesus keeps it simple: 'You give them something to eat.'

I may continue to ask God where he is in all of this. But I also want to ask where the church is in all of this. The church is doing many great things, but I don't believe it is doing enough. I believe that the church is not so much about a group of people who happen to be going to a better place after they die, but the people who God has given a responsibility to seek first his Kingdom. The church is the body of Christ and through the church, God continues his restoration of all things, for all people. So, if the church is the body of Christ, where is the church in all of this? Jesus is telling us, 'you give them something to eat.' You are the ministers of reconciliation in this world. You are the ones to be the light to the world, to be signs of hope, to offer freedom and new life in Christ to a physically and spiritually enslaved and starving world.

I have an idea: let's live like this is all true. I think it is. As we do, as we let our light shine before the nations, they will see our good works, and praise our Father in heaven.

Let me just say one more thing that could probably be several blog posts. I think it's good to try and get people concerned and involved with what you care about. If I tell you about the sex trafficking from Nepal to India, you might start reading about it, noticing it more in the news, praying about it, and you may even give your life to dismantling it and setting others free. But, there is more going on out there that needs you, that you could give your life to. I don't think the main problem is that not enough people care about or are doing my thing but the main problem is not enough people are passionately living the life God has called them to. How do we know what that is? That's a good question. Any ideas? Cause I'm still working on that. But as we seek to know who we are in God and how God sees us (see digging deeper, part 3, can we start asking what God has for us? And then let's live it out. Let's fly to Burma or China and serve them, offer love and relief, protect the women and children from predators taking advantage of the devastation. Let's teach English to the refugee family living in our church housing, or teach Math in the inner cities. Let's go to Minneapolis and share a meal with those living on the streets. Let's paint, draw, sing, or write and advocate for our friends, for the poor, the oppressed, the enslaved, the hungry. Let's lead the way in racial reconciliation, in seeking peace in Iraq and Palestine, in standing in solidarity with the Sudanese and the Tibetans, in restoring our creation, in caring for the orphan and widow, for the girl who just had an abortion or the guy addicted to drugs, and in ending modern day slavery and offering education, homes, communities, opportunities, love, hope, freedom and new life to those currently enslaved. Let's not just eat our dinner. Instead, let's give them something to eat.

I have an idea, and a plea: Let's be the church. Let's be the body of Christ.

New Book

2008-05-20T13:10:00.002-05:00

Chris Heuertz (International Executive Director of Word Made Flesh) has a new book coming out in July. Order your copy of Simple Spirituality. And you can become a fan of the book on Facebook, where there will hopefully be some discussion on the book and it's implications for our lives.

Election time (a month ago)

2008-05-19T11:00:00.004-05:00

UML (United Marxist-Leninist) Flags
Good ol' hammer and sickle
Mini Maoist Flags

Scenes from our Roof

2008-05-19T06:44:00.005-05:00

nepal development

2008-05-19T00:14:00.003-05:00

I just posted the first part of a series on development in Nepal on our WMF Nepal blog...check it out.

busy days

2008-05-18T09:10:00.003-05:00

I've been too busy and have had too much on my mind to be able to begin to process it all out on the blog. Instead of trying to catch up, we'll just hope i do better this week. Until those posts come, here's a couple things to read to keep you busy:

Calvin just posted on his blog about our day yesterday, and it's worth reading. It's the post called "Church."

Jesse and I had lunch with these guys a few weeks back as they were passing through Kathmandu. They are traveling through Asia on bicycles, and intend to head to Europe. They're about 7 months into their trip, and they write about their experiences and thoughts. Two of the guys are from Minnesota - one from Plymouth, so that was fun.

Tibetan Protests continue

2008-05-11T11:14:00.002-05:00

Nepal seems to be stuck in a tough place. With the giant that is China just to their north, what can they do but submit to China's demands. They don't want to give China any reason to be upset with them. So again Tibetan protesters - this time 560 women - have been arrested in Nepal. For more info, click here.

Start Reading

2008-05-10T14:24:00.002-05:00

You should probably read this to start learning and thinking about human trafficking - it's a brief description with a few important myths. This will inevitably be a topic as we continue, so might as well start here. It's from the Polaris Project, a non-profit combating modern-day slavery. Click here.

Space, part II

2008-05-10T14:08:00.003-05:00

Apparently, the lack of personal space while walking is also true on/in vehicles including buses, cars, motorcycles and, my mode of choice, bicycles. I was traveling on my regular route to class, actually the day I wrote the first segment of Space, down a narrow street, when a motorcycle came and cut me off.

Honestly, I can't blame him too much for this (though I will some), because it is generally accepted here in Nepal. For instance, the day before this as I was leading Calvin and Charlie home from mass (their first time on bikes in Kathmandu), as I was showing off, weaving in and out of traffic on one of the main roads, i cut a microbus off. Unfortunately, being on a bike, either he didn't see me or he chose to ignore the fact that a guy on a bicycle was going in front of him. He ran into me as I passed him. Luckily traffic was going as slow as turtles, allowing me to quickly recover and continued cruising down the road a bit humbled.

Back to being cut off. Well, this inconsiderate man (okay, I do the same thing all the time), cut me off without considering the fact that a big plastic bag was hanging off the back of his motorcycle. As he passed dangerously close, his plastic bag caught my handle, and wouldn't let go. He started speeding on and my bike quickly turned to the side as I slid onto the ground. I quickly jumped up, trying to bring as little attention to myself as possible. But being a white guy who just fell on the ground, what could be done to prevent all eyes turning towards me? That's right, nothing. I made sure the guy was satisfied, even as he gave me a disgruntled look and said something I didn't understand (I know, I should be fluent by now), but seemed to suggest it was my fault. Of course, blame the white guy. I said to a bewildered audience, "The guy cut me off. What could I do?" And biked away.

New WMF Nepal blog

2008-05-08T00:28:00.002-05:00

If you read the May Prayer Letter, you may have decided to check out our new WMF Nepal blog, and noticed there wasn't anything on it. Well, we've got it up and running, with the prayer letter (and pictures), and some links you can jump off to as well. More to come, so put us on your Google Reader and stay connected.

digging deeper, part 4

2008-05-07T10:58:00.005-05:00

Word Made Flesh is an organization that looks at the incarnation of Jesus (the Word who became flesh, hence the name) as a central model for how we live and work among the poor. He not only came to free the oppressed and give new life and good news to the poor, but he entered the world as a poor son of a single mother, into a family of refugees, likely ostracized from their community because of Mary's pregnancy, and into a people oppressed by the Roman Empire. God became man, but not just any man. He became a poor man with no place to lay his head, an oppressed man killed by the political and religious establishment that would not allow subversion from a carpenter from Galilee. So, our desire is not just to offer new life to the poor, which we do try and do through homes for at risk girls, men with addictions, women enslaved in the sex trade, and the abandoned elderly, but it is also to become poor. We enter into the pain and suffering, the oppression and poverty with our friends. We do this because Jesus did, and it is through these relationships, we believe, that transformation happens. We also do this because we believe that we are not the ones with all the answers, but that as we enter our friends' lives, they teach us, we discover our own poverty and brokenness and we walk together towards new life in Christ.

It turns out, as I've realized after a couple months, that this is actually quite hard. Who would have guessed, right? It is hard to actually become poor. There are so many complications, so many excuses for getting new things, or keeping what we have, and so little draw to giving up everything like one of our patron saints, St. Francis of Assisi did with such passion. Now, I might defend, or maybe you'd defend me, saying, 'Andrew, you've given up so much already to go to Nepal.' Well, maybe that is true, but I still have a lot. And I can compare with people in the U.S. with so much more than I have and feel better about myself, or judge other Christian workers here for their excesses. I can judge and not feel so bad. But when I look at the significant differences between me and our friends on the street, or I think more worthy of concern, my Nepali coworkers, I get uncomfortable. I feel guilty. There is a huge disparity there that in the grand scheme of things is, in my opinion, wrong. When Chris was here, he talked about it as an essential apartheid. I can go to Roadhouse pizza with all the other foreigners and even order a beer and extra toppings on my pizza. My friend Top would never go there, except maybe to take his wife there on her birthday. He couldn't afford even the cheese pizza. I could go there every week. Am I really in this with him? Am I really becoming poor with the poor?

Here's the thing. There are many good reasons why I live the way I do. I sit with my new mac computer on my lap, listening to my iPod, while my bike is safely locked up in our office. These are probably my three most costly possessions. And honestly, I'm pretty excited about all three. I love music, it speaks to me in deep ways. I listen to podcasts from David Landt, or tune into Barack Obama reading his book to me on the way to class. My computer has even more significant reasons for defending my ownership of it. It helps me stay in touch with you. Honestly, we want you to be a part of this. Not just your money, not even just your prayers, but you to feel you are part of this community. That is one reason I blog and send letters. The computer certainly helps that. And I want to do advocacy for these people here, the poor, the oppressed, and again the computer offers a good medium through which to do that. My bike gets me to class a lot faster, a lot cheaper (well, cheaper than taxis every day, but not necessarily the micro-bus) is greener, and keeps me exercising. And the more expensive bike keeps me safer, and likely keeps me from having to get continual repairs from riding several hours every week through the hills and bumpy roads of kathmandu. But, I'll tell you it was incredibly awkward for me to look at the bikes with my friend Deepak, who would only be able to buy that bike if he moved to Iraq for a better paying job, saving for several months (which he is considering, because he feels he can't support a family with his current salary at a school).

These are some of the reasons I have these three things, that probably have a net worth of over $2000. There are 'good' reasons for these things. Of course there are ways to legitimize any of our affluence, excesses, or luxury. Except owning a Hummer. That is just wrong. But honestly, it seems absurd to me that I have these things while a food crisis arises all over the world and incredible poverty, perpetuating a lack of education drives people into wars, into the sex trade, and countless other hells on earth. On the other hand, some would argue that I use my computer on behalf of those, which I try and do.

I don't write this post to urge you to sell all your possessions, though maybe some of us should. I write this more to express the, at times overwhelming, conflict in my mind and heart about what I have, and what my friends, and coworkers don't. Though my coworkers want me to have some of these things - like a computer to contact those who are supporting us, or the money to go to go to a travel clinic and stay healthy - there is a problem, I think when the community of God lives with such disparity, even apartheid.

It's almost debilitating. It's like, I don't know what to do about this, or what God wants me to do, so I won't do anything except continuing to live in affluence, even among the poor I serve, and continue to feel guilty with nothing ever changing. The thing is, I don't know what is right, when I should spend a lot and when I should get the cheese pizza, or instead eat daal bhat like everyone else here. I was talking with my friend, Liz (yes, on google chat - thanks laptop), last night about this, who suggested we ask God what he wants us to do. If we do a little more prayer, and a lot more listening to God, we might trust him to lead us in that... buy a computer, don't get the pepperoni, sell your bike, buy wine for that party. Maybe that seems like it's overdoing it, but if someone has another way to walk through this, without the legalism of condemning every purchase, yet honoring our friends and seeking equality with them, let me know. This, for me, is a good place to start. And it is generally a good place to trust that God will lead and guide us if we listen to him.

For further reading, get Jonathan Bonk's Missions and Money, which has what I consider to be an incredible analysis of the historical context for missionary affluence among the poor, the reasons for it (children, health, guarding against burnout, etc.) and the significant costs to relationships both with the local poor and the poor missionaries, while the Western servants of God continue to live in affluence. Even my understanding of the Word Made Flesh model makes me question the right approach, as Bonk addresses it's shortcomings. For instance, I can live really simply, even with few possessions, making it look like I am in solidarity with the poor, while continuing to hold onto health care, a retirement plan, and the freedom to fly back to America at any time. Not that these are wrong. In fact we would like to see our friends with health care, the ability to save, and our Nepali staff to travel to WMF events and forums around the world. But what if we lived in a way that was more united, so that if our Nepali staff didn't have the money to go to the director's forum in Argentina, then I don't have the money to go home for Christmas. It may sound extreme, but it's a way (as Chris suggested) to begin to break down the disparity and inequality present even within WMF?

What I don't want to happen is for me, for us, to let these questions go unanswered. We should be wrestling with these things while people around the world starve or suffer from AIDS, or our friends struggle to pay for rice, or more prevalent in America, for gas. The point is not to feel guilty. The point is to follow Jesus. The Jesus who entered the pain, poverty and suffering of the world, who picked up the cross and died that we might live.

May 2008 Prayer Letter

2008-05-05T22:16:00.002-05:00

Dear friends of WMF Nepal,

We, as a community, would like to share with you an overview of the work that we do, as well as an update on the changes and transitions occurring here in Nepal. Listed below are the ministries we are currently involved in:

Karuna Ghar – Home for Girls
Gautam and Rekha Rai are the parents of this family of girls. Karuna Ghar (Home of Compassion) provides a hope-filled future for girls from backgrounds of abuse and neglect. Karuna Ghar has been running since September 5, 2001. The Rais currently have twelve children.

Prem Ghar – Home for Elderly Women
At Prem Ghar (Home of Love) Jyoti Bhattarai and her family care for elderly women who have been widowed or abandoned by their families. Jyoti serves the ammas (mothers) diligently, and the ammas have found love and life at the home, where they occupy their time raising vegetables and being grandmothers to the Bhattarais’ four children. Prem Ghar opened December 18, 2000 and is currently home to five ammas.

Street Ministry
The WMF Nepal staff continue to spend time on the streets with children, young men and women. The staff act as “social workers” for the street children, providing counseling, first aid, home visits, family reintegration, jail visits and hospital visits. After the closure of Kripaa Sadhan (Home of Mercy), a rehabilitation center for men, Raju Thakuri, who completed treatment there, began serving as an intern with WMF. He is currently working alongside staff member, Top Magar, in our street ministry.

Updates:
In late November, 2007, Gautam and Raju made the five day journey (two days by bus, three on foot) to Gautam’s home village in a remote mountain district near Mount Everest. They returned with two young girls, Shanti and Christine, who were welcomed into the Karuna Ghar family. Since their arrival, we have discovered that Christine is suffering from a congenital heart disease which has also affected her lungs, liver and physical development. Although she is eleven years old, she is only the size of an average 3-4 year old. Aside from this, Christine’s right hand bears two striking deformities. Her ring and middle fingers are webbed, with skin bonding them together, as are her index finger and thumb. Over the next several months, Christine will undergo heart surgery as well as cosmetic surgery for her hand. In addition to Christine’s needs, Bhawani, the first girl to come to Karuna Ghar in 2000, now age 13, is also in need of oral surgery and braces. Please keep Christine, Bhawani and the rest of the Karuna Ghar family in your prayers.

When Gautam and Raju returned from the village they also brought one amma, Shakal Shoba Rai, who was carried in a basket during the three day trek. In early february, Shakal Amma slipped and fell in the bathroom and broke her leg, making us aware of the need for renovations to provide better care for the ammas, especially those with physical limitations. Prem Ghar also is expecting to receive two new ammas in the next few months.

Since the closing of Kripaa Sadhan last year, Brook Birch continues to be involved in relationships with the men who went through treatment there. In addition, Top and Raju are developing relationships with a group of young boys on the street. As a community, we are praying for new direction and vision for this area of ministry.

Transition:
Our community is in the midst of a great many transitions. In January, Field Directors Silas and Kimberly West’s eldest son, Jedidiah, was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. In order to provide the support that he needs, the Wests will have to leave Nepal this fall. The Wests have served with WMF in Kathmandu for the last ten years. In addition to serving as Field Directors, they also serve as the South Asia Regional Coordinators. Silas and Kim will be moving to Omaha where Silas will be taking a position with WMF at the US Office as Coordinator of Community Care, Emphasis on Mental and Emotional Well-being.

Other transitions include new and returning staff. Jesse Heirendt and Andrew Ulasich began their three-year staff contracts, joining the community in January and February, respectively. At the end of April, Kara DeBruyn returned after a ten-month leave of absence from the field, and Calvin Smothers began his first staff contract as Servant Team Coordinator.

In light of all this transition, we have found it necessary to rent an office space. It is our hope that this will foster structure, stability, and creativity within the community.

Financial Needs
As can be imagined, caring for more women and children, welcoming new staff, and pursuing new initiatives comes with greater financial needs. The field account, supported solely through individual donations, is used to fund the above ministries and pay our Nepali staff salaries. For the last 18 months, our field account has been running over a 40% deficit. The cost of basic necessities such as rice and cooking fuel has increased as much as 35% in the past year, while the value of the dollar has declined nearly 20%. So, each dollar that is given is worth less than it was a year ago for things that cost more than they did a year ago. The following is a summary of our financial status and needs:

• Our current monthly need is approximately $3000.
• Donations that currently support the field are monthly averaging $1500-$1800.
• Additional needs include:
• Surgeries for Christine and Bhawani - about $1200
• Renovations for Prem Ghar - $5000
• The additional cost of our office - $100/month
• Offsetting the monthly field account deficit - $1200-$1500/month

With these needs arising, we invite you to prayerfully consider how you might partner with us. We deeply value your prayers and support for us individually and would like to connect you to our ministry as a community. It is our hope that even as the Wests leave, those of you who are connected to them would remain connected to the work you have been supporting in Nepal for the past ten years. For those of you who are new to WMF Nepal, it is our desire for you to be more aware of our work and to have a deeper sense of partnership with our community. One way we are attempting to do this is by creating a community blog (website), in addition to our personal blogs, on which we hope to regularly share field updates.

To visit our community blog log-on to: www.wmfnepal.blogspot.com

Much gratitude and love from Nepal,

WMF Nepal Community

Space

2008-05-05T02:53:00.002-05:00

In America we having something called 'personal space.' We feel we have this right to our own space, that nobody is aloud to invade, save our loved ones. Why we feel this way, I'm not sure. This space we hold so dear, is not really a core value in Nepal

Examples...

Imagine walking down a bumpy road in Nepal. Now, if you were in New York City, or the Minnesota State Fair, you would understand the busy streets and congestion make it necessary for people to walk by closely. Likewise, during those busy times in Kathmandu when the streets are full of cars, bikes, motorcycles, and people, it does phase the personal-space needing tourist to have people brush bye. So, continue to imagine walking down the road. It's one of the wide roads and it's a time of day that is relatively quiet. Someone walks up from behind, and instead of giving you the space that you, for some reason, feel you deserve, he/she walks closely by you, even brushing your elbow as he passes. Sometimes, when people walk so closely, you get the feeling they are following you. You may wonder if they're trying to snatch your wallet. Until you realize that they just don't care about personal space, you get used to it, and if you're like me, you join them. Just doing my part to enter the culture, people, brushing shoulders whether there are crowds or the streets are empty.

I was on my way to India a couple weeks ago, boarding the plane. This plane we boarded from the ground, up the stairs. As I slowly moved up the stairs, pausing at each step while the attendants did yet another haphazard search of our bags, I was surprised by the continual push behind me. I think the man was trying to keep others from cutting in line, but in the process he pressed his beer belly up against my back. Each step I went up, there he was behind me, invading my space. Thankfully, as I remembered the cultural differences (or maybe just fell yet again into this need I have to avoid conflict), I refrained from saying what I was thinking: "Dude, back off."

Finally, like many countries around the world, the goal is not to make the most comfortable, pleasant ride for the passengers, but to fit as many people into a tempo or bus as possible. Even if it means practically sitting on top of the strange man next to you, or hanging out the back or side door, they'll get you in the bus. Thankfully, without the value of personal space, most people travel this way, from what I can tell, without surprise or irritation. I try, but sometimes fail, to do the same.

Check these out...

2008-05-03T20:59:00.002-05:00

There are a few websites I've been following that may be worth your time...

These two are specifically about human trafficking:

Human Goods

The Sold Project

and another good site:

Empire Remixed

so there you go.

digging deeper, part 3

2008-04-30T03:20:00.005-05:00

I thought about making this post a fiery exhortation to seek justice. Because there is a lot in this world that is not right. In Simply Christian NT Wright speaks about four specific desires, or yearnings, that are evident today: the desire for relationships, the longing for beauty, the pursuit of spirituality, and a yearning for justice, or wanting to see the world put to rights. Wright submits that the Christian story offers these in the person of Jesus, and through him and his spirit, God is continuing to restore the world, make all things new.

As I said, there is a lot to make new, making it somewhat debilitating when it comes to where to start in addressing these, specifically (as this post will focus on) the need for justice in the world. There are countless things to devote time to and pursue. Whether it is peace in the Middle East, environmental restoration, or fighting the global AIDS pandemic. Government sanctioned violence, colonialism and oppression continue unhindered. The fact that there are nuclear weapons in this world, I believe, is an offense against humanity and against God, and needs to be addressed. I just checked my Facebook account and I've got six causes listed on the left sidebar: Save Darfur, Invisible Children, Not For Sale, Word Made Flesh: Amplify Their Voices, Food for the Hungry, and Dalit Freedom Network. Now, that's not to say anything special about me because for most of those, save maybe WMF, I do very little, if anything. And again, it's hard to know where to start, so we end up doing nothing.

Chris Heuertz (WMF International Executive Director) spoke at a Beggar's Society meeting (a WMF advocacy meeting in Omaha) in January. He spoke about how he cannot believe that segregation existed and was enforced by law just a few years before he was born. It is absurd. Read above. These things are absurd. The fact that today millions of women are trafficked and sold for sex with the world standing by is absurd. It is absurd that in an age of 'globalization' when the playing field is supposed to be leveled out, The Economist can publish a story on what they call the Silent Tsunami, the food crisis spreading around the world causing people to give up education, health care, and nutrition, while the poorest starve.

If you believe what I do, that the Christian story is one of God restoring the world, making things right, then it must be understood that the Christian person ought to be taking part in that restoration. Okay, I'm getting a bit fiery, which I inferred above I wasn't going to do. The point again is that for so many of us, we don't know where to start. Do we care about all these issues? I hope so. But what do we give time to, and how do we do that? Is it okay to be about a couple main things, for instance fighting the sex trade? Probably, because we're not the savior of the world and we can't change everything.

Assuming, then, we have some general idea about what we want to give ourselves to - like fighting the sex trade, where do we begin there? Do we advocate (and how)? Do we offer jobs, education, homes? Do we work through politics or the legal system? And the fact that the trade has roots in lack of education, cultural beliefs, political and legal corruption, and poverty, makes it even more confusing where to start.

I was reading a post on Empire Remixed this morning by Sue Erickson who suggested that maybe this is the wrong question. Rather than, what do I do? Or, what is my vocation? We should be asking who am I? What does God say about me? She quotes Romans, when Paul calls us to present ourselves as living sacrifices, holy and acceptable to God. Through the transforming of our mind, then we can 'do' out of who we are. This is where we start. While I would submit that at some point action needs to be taken, and I doubt Erickson would deny this, I agree that if we start with 'who am I?' instead of 'what am I supposed to do?' then we will actually have a better answer to that question as it flows out of who we are and who God is making us to be.

So, who am I? Who are we? We were doing Lectio Divina last night at Bible Study, reading part of Matthew 5. I was meditating on the words you are. "You are the salt of the earth...You are the light of the world." This is what I am. This is how God sees me. Of course, this would require us to keep our salitness, and to shine our light, which we'll get to. But let's start here. You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of the world. This is how God sees you.

Though I am starting with this truth, and offering myself to God, there are things I am doing. And I will share them with you, not to tell about how great I am, but hopefully to give you some ideas. And for me, these things are specifically related to the poor, even more so the women and children who are sold into slavery for labor, sex, whatever. I am praying. And I am fasting. I pray for God to move. I fast to give up a meal in solidarity with those who have lost everything, and because for some reason, God works through prayer and fasting. Tuesday is the day, actually, for my fasting. Join me if you'd like. I want to be listening more to what God says about me, who I am and who he is creating me to be. Lectio Divina, I think is actually a good tool for listening. I'm reading - I want to read all I can on these things - not for the sake of knowing, but so I can better respond. I am working harder on learning Nepali, seeing that as a way to proceed. And I am building relationships with those around me, and hopefully those in the trade - women, children, and the men who oppress. Other relationships include with other organizations and churches, seeking to work together to combat the trade, as well as the view of women in this culture.

For another couple starting points, listen to Chris's podcast (again January, 2008) which is on iTunes, which you can connect to from the WMF site, in which Chris addresses many things, including the need for a new civil rights movement, and new civil rights leaders. And to get some inspiration for such a movement, read MLK's Why We Can't Wait, but if you don't have time for that, at least read his Letter from a Birmingham Jail.

But again, start with who you are. The light of the world. The salt of the earth. From there, we will move forward.

Eyes

2008-04-29T02:27:00.004-05:00

Back to our This Nepali Life Series:

Here in Nepal, people are generally not shy about staring. Walking down the road, eyes are continuously fixed on us, the outsiders, the light-skinned. It's definitely not as intense of staring here as it was in Kolkata, but it is blatant nonetheless. I'm not used to it.

In America, we look at peculiar things. But we try and do it discreetly. I could be wrong, but I think this is even true in some places where there is a majority race with very few other races around. In small town America, for instance, say...Matthews' Family Diner just minutes from good ole' Taylor University. From what I understand, a minority who walks in there will get strange looks, even questionable treatment. Again, maybe I'm wrong, but I think the staring would be less strong. What I imagine are people peering over their newspapers or quickly stealing glances. Of course, it may be no less obvious there, but at least there is an attempt to conceal their glances.

Not so here. Here it is full on staring. You might think that since I live a short walk from Thamel (aka tourist central) and just down the hill from the Monkey Temple (a popular tourist attraction), people would fail to notice me. Or you might think that since I walk and bike the same routes every day, they would lose interest, and the staring would subside. On both accounts, you would think wrong.

Yesterday I was biking to class and was having trouble with the gears on my bike. I looked down to see a lot of plastic caught in my chain. I got off the bike and began pulling plastic out of the chain. By the time I was finished, there were three Nepali men standing just two feet away from me, staring. I looked up and gave 'em a nod. No response, just staring. So I biked away.

Now, before I end, let me remind you that these cultural differences, despite making me at times uncomfortable, are not necessarily wrong. Who knows; maybe when I'm back in the states receiving far less attention than I do here, all I'll want is someone to stare at me.

digging deeper, part 2

2008-04-27T01:23:00.005-05:00

As I said, some posts would be delayed. I was in India, sweating all week, and without much internet time. I'm back now, with thoughts swirling around in my head, overwhelming and inspiring thoughts that will make it's way onto the world wide web.

This one is a toughy. Jesse and I were invited to dinner with some of our Indian friends on Wednesday night. While at their house they turned on the tv and were cruising the channels. I asked them to turn it to BBC to get the Pennsylvania primary results. After I saw a short clip informing me Hilary took the majority, I told them they could change the channel. They were adamant that we keep it there. We talked for awhile and ate dinner with the tv still on. Usually this bothers me because I'm there to talk and converse, but we managed to have good conversation regardless.

Well, at one point I noticed an interview happening on BBC and soon couldn't pull my ears or eyes from the tv. The man who performed the Stanford Prison Experiment in the early '70s was on. He took average young men and had them play roles - prisoner or prison guard. They were not allowed to physically abuse anyone, but they got so into their roles that they started using intense psychological abuse. Things got out of hand and they ended the experiment early. The conclusion was that in certain situations anyone is capable of great evil. They compared this to Abu Ghraib where U.S. soldiers abused Iraqi civilians. The man doing the interview seemed to agree with George Bush, that it was a few 'bad apples' that they needed to get rid of, that the structure wasn't to blame but the people. He submitted that we are not all capable of such things, that we can't all be Hitler. The man doing the experiment argued otherwise.

I found this particularly interesting, because I had brought up Abu Ghraib in a conversation with friends the night before. I remembered watching the movie Ghosts of Abu Ghraib, and seeing the interviews of the soldiers who had done that. They seemed a little messed up from the war (quite understandable), but they also struck me as pretty average, normal people. People who put men in sexual positions with each other and then took pictures. They did really awful, disgusting things. My assertion was that anyone could do that. Yes, people need to be held accountable for their crimes, but we need to fix the structures, or these things will continue. I could do these things. I could be Hitler. I don't really like typing it (especially confessing it to the world). You may not like reading it. But I believe we all have potential for great evil.

The focus of my time this past week was on the sex trade. Talk about evil. Millions of women and children have been trafficked and sold into slavery where they are prostituted 10, 20, 30 times a day. Who the hell would do that? It is understandable to me to develop anger, even hatred towards the men (local and western) who destroy the lives of these innocent, beautiful people. But I am capable of this. And I believe you are too. It's hard to look at this evil with such anger and hatred, and at the same time be shamed and feel guilty for my own temptation. It is real and I can't deny it.

Here are a couple things that encourage me in this and allow me to disclose it to the world. First off, as I mentioned in digging deeper, part 1, Jesus was tempted. And if he was really a man, really fully human, I believe he was tempted sexually. Again, what man isn't? But he chose not to sin. He chose to love, and to free the prostitute (I use this term with hesitation as most of the women in the trade are not there by choice. They are prostituted, not prostitutes).

I am also encouraged by my friends. They are women who are also adamant that any man is capable of this. They told me of one man who had so much hatred towards other men who commit those crimes. Their response was that if he worked where they do for ten years, never believing he is capable of such things, he is likely to sleep with one of their young, attractive friends. We've all heard the stories of abuse within the church and by missionaries. But no one (well, mostly no one...there are westerners who travel for 'sex tourism) goes wanting to do that. They want to love, not hurt, oppress and destroy. Not abuse. They go to heal. But they stumble, and they fall. Still, these women who know the ugly thoughts that pass through our heads believe we are good. They are encouraged and inspired by us (though they are really the inspiring ones), despite our weaknesses and temptations. They see God's goodness in us.

This is where an important balance is needed. Because the truth is, we are created good. We are all capable of such beautiful, good things. And God gives us his Holy Spirit to guide us, direct us, sustain us, and help us walk in a new way. And the truth is also that we have a choice. I can choose not to destroy and oppress, but to heal. I can choose not to hurt, but to love. And though we need to transform a culture of oppression, of repression, of dehumanizing and devaluing women, and one that encourages men to continue in this with distorted views of sexuality and relationship, we also need to hold people accountable for their crimes. Because again, they have a choice.

Still, when I acknowledge that I am capable of the same great evil, I humanize the men, instead of demonize them. I see the depth of their depravity, of their brokenness even as I condemn the oppression they inflict. I see their own great need and the way they are influenced by these evil parts of their culture. When I humanize them, it allows me to cry not only for the women (which I do), but for the men who, too, are lost and broken and enslaved and without the freedom that comes in Christ. When I see myself in them, I am able to believe in transformation and freedom, not only for the women (which I pray and hope for), but also for the men, to whom Jesus also offers restoration and new life. What we need is not only for the sex trade to end (which needs to happen), but for lives and cultures and societies to be redeemed and transformed so that we see the world, and each other (women and men), the way God sees the world, and so that we live as God intended, in this new creation.

Miles

2008-04-18T13:11:00.002-05:00

Rumor on the street is that there are more outstanding airline miles than there are Euros, Dollars, Yen, Pounds, and Yuan combined. As flights to and from K-du get pretty pricey, and I'll need to fly a bit when in the states (you know, to see the masses who are missing me). It has been recommended to me, that since these miles tend to expire (or if they're not expiring soon and people just can't help but give them away), this would be a good way for interested people to help support what I do. So, if you're interested (even with that arrogant comment about the masses above, kidding people.), that's an option. Unfortunately, it is not tax deductible.

I've got an account with United which is usually my way to go internationally (thanks to the Star Alliance that includes Thai Air and Singapore Air, Lufthansa - for those flights on the European side, and soon Indian Air). I also have an account with Northwest which I regularly fly in the states - great price from LA to Mpls. So, if you've got extra miles you want to give that'd be HUGE. Or, if you have miles for another airline and you really want to give, I'm open to starting new accounts with different airlines.

Speaking of Airlines, I'm flying to Kolkata on Sunday. My first trip to India will include visiting our WMF friends, attending a conference on rehabilitation of women emerging from the sex trade, and hopefully a visit to Sari Bari and WMF's friends in the brothels - specifically the Nepali girls who have been trafficked there. Brook, Jesse and I leave Sunday and will return next Saturday. So those series I just started...remember how I said they may be interrupted or delayed. Yes, second week - this delay will be likely. We'll see what I can pull off in K-town.